IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first graph shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009. The second graph shows the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first graph shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009. The second graph shows the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #train #passengers #second #percentage #trains #time #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The first chart displays how many passengers used
train
Correct article usage
the train
show examples
 between 2000 and 2009, and the second graph compares the rate of
trains
Use synonyms
 running on
time
Use synonyms
 with the
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
 line.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
, who utilized
trains
Use synonyms
 slightly increased throughout
period
Add an article
the period
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.
In addition
Linking Words
,
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of the punctual
trains
Use synonyms
 was lower than the target;
however
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period it was far higher than the target. Looking more closely at the first image, just above 35
millions
Change to singular
million
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 people reached their destinations by
trains
Use synonyms
 in 2000, despite some
fluctations
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
,
this
Linking Words
 figure rose in the following 5 years, and peaked at nearly 46
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, there was a slight decline in the number of train passengers,with approximately 42
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 people who took
train
Add an article
the train
a train
show examples
 in 2009. Turning to the second graph, the
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
 line remained stable, at 95%, over the
time
Use synonyms
 frame. The rates of
trains
Use synonyms
 running on
time
Use synonyms
 were the same in 2000 and 2006,
although
Linking Words
 some fluctuations between
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 frame. From 2006 to 2008,
saw
Verb problem
there was
show examples
 an increase in the rates of punctual
trains
Use synonyms
, from 92% to 97%.
Then
Linking Words
, the figure remained unchanged until the end of the period.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words trains, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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