IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

unemployment rate of ireland. please make a summary and compared when relevant

#unemployment #rate #ireland #summary
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The given line graph illustrates the number of unoccupied people who lived in Ireland.
Overall
, it is readily apparent that the jobless rate was corresponding to the people departing from Ireland as both showed a similar trend.
However
,
although
 the latter was moderately higher than the unemployed
citizens
Change to a genitive case
citizen's
citizens'
show examples
 proportion, the proportion in the
last
 couple of years showed vice versa. Taking a closer look at the unhired rate, it
initially
 stood at around 17% before drastically declining to 13% in the following year. After slightly rising by 2% in 1992, it
then
 experienced a steady plummet and hit a trough at only 5% and
centered
Change the spelling
centred
show examples
 roughly around it throughout the given period. Regarding
thenumber
Correct your spelling
the number
 of Ireland citizens’ departure, it started at 60000 before experiencing a major decrease by approximately 25000 in 1992 and
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to fall from that point onwards to just below 30000 in 2002. Afterwards, it significantly rose to 50000 in 2008.
Submitted by pink panther on

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Introduction
- Make sure your introduction provides a background of what the data is about, specifying the units and time frame of the graph. - Briefly summarize the main trend in the introduction before detailing in subsequent paragraphs.
Coherence
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within each paragraph are well linked, forming a cohesive chain of ideas. - Use a range of cohesive devices to clearly show the relationships between different points.
Supporting Main Points
- Support your main points with data from the graph, including percentages, numbers, and time periods. - Make comparisons where relevant, as the question asks for comparisons when relevant. - Aim to include both general trends and specific details.
Task Achievement
- Address all parts of the task, ensuring that the information provided corresponds to the main features of the graph. - Present a clear overview of the data with key trends and significant details for a higher score in task response. - Avoid inaccuracies and inconsistencies in data description.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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