The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.
The table illustrates how much time the UK unemployed spend in their free time in 14 different categories.
Overall
, it is clear, that housework by females in the morning is by far the highest amount in total.
Linking Words
To begin
with, in the morning men usually spend their time shopping and job hunting, Linking Words
while
ladies do the daily chores. Linking Words
Furthermore
, in the afternoon gentlemen are likely to do gardening and watch TV, in comparison with Linking Words
women
who mostly read and watch something on the TV.
Use synonyms
Moreover
, in the early hours only 2 per cent of people drink, similar to Linking Words
women
since their numbers in the same category are only 1%. Use synonyms
However
, in the afternoon 1% of men stay in bed, similar to Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
due to
their amount being zero. Linking Words
Finally
, it is noticeable that Linking Words
women
's highest percentages are in the housework aspect Use synonyms
also
in the morning and in the afternoon as well. Linking Words
On the other hand
guy's highest score is in job hunting and in the TV streaming categories.Linking Words
Submitted by palvdori on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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