ome people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#ome #people #government #money #train #subway #lines #traffic #congestion #roads

The high volume of

traffic

is a huge problem for many big cities.

Therefore

, there is a widely held view among a number of people that governmental bodies should pour money

Change preposition

into

show examples

building

such

public transport systems as train and subway lines. Others,

however

, argue that

road

expansion is the more proper way. To my mind, though widening streets benefits us,

this

can not alleviate

traffic

congestion. It is not by chance that developing public vehicles is considered one of the common approaches to

reduce

Wrong verb form

reducing

show examples

traffic

jams.

To day

Correct your spelling

Today

show examples

, people have indeed used too many private vehicles whose disadvantages can be listed. The long line of cars at peak hours is a typical example, which may lead to lengthy delays.

This

can

also

cause other serious consequences

such

traffic

accidents.

Accordingly

, it is widely believed that building underground tunnels can solve heavy

traffic

jams

due to

empty spaces beneath the ground.

However

according to

others,

road

extension is a better alternative because

this

solution does not demand more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Also

, extending

road

Fix the agreement mistake

roads

show examples

does not seem as costly as developing underground transport systems. Another reason for

this

is that bigger roads will create more spaces for vehicle owners, helping them to circulate easily during peak hours. By doing so,

traffic

congestion can be alleviated. In my opinion,

road

expansion is not a long-term measure because people tend to drive their vehicles regularly on newly widened streets.

In other words

traffic

jams might continue to occur.

Therefore

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should take other solutions into consideration for safer transportation

Submitted by pandatvin3 on Wed Jan 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay shows a basic structure with introductions and conclusions but lacks clear transitions and a logical flow in places. Try to use more cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences to ensure each paragraph flows neatly into the next.

task achievement

You addressed the topic, but the completeness of the response could be improved. Ensure you fully develop each point of view discussed, and don't forget to compare them before expressing your opinion. Your personal view also needs stronger justification.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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ome people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

A company has announced that it is wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your country. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days older people who have retired often choose to spend money on them. For example on holiday, rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.