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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

ACADEMIC The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales ( in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

ACADEMIC The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales ( in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
number
Use synonyms
 of
rentals
Use synonyms
 and
sales
Use synonyms
 of films from a particular store between 2022 and 2011 are shown in the bar chart.
Overall
Linking Words
, people
tend
Correct pronoun usage
who tend
show examples
 to
rental
Replace the word
rent
show examples
 a film and buy a VHS was decreasing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year and
step-by-step
Correct your spelling
step by step
show examples
 they move to choose a film with DVD, or Blu-ray format. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, the DVD
sales
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the most stable in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number
Use synonyms
. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
 in between 2002-2011. The second
number
Use synonyms
 is followed by
rentals
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 the
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 its
number
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year. The second highlight is the rise of Blu-ray
sales
Use synonyms
 and the decrease of VHS
salses
Correct your spelling
sales
show examples
. In 2006, both
are having
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 no
number
Use synonyms
 of
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
. The blu-ray
sales
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 always increasing since 2007.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other side
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
VHS
sales
Use synonyms
 are nothing between 2006-2011. In conclusion, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
report
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
show examples
 of
rentals
Use synonyms
 and
sales
Use synonyms
 of
films
Fix the agreement mistake
film
show examples
 preference
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rentals
Use synonyms
 and
dvd
Correct your spelling
DVD
sales
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, rentals, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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