A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There are many countries across the world in which
tourism
represents the main economic income.
As a
Change preposition
A
show examples
possible explanation
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
, could be the fact that these places have a huge source of natural beauty wealth, despite other low development in other areas
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
internacional
Correct your spelling
international
trade, service sector, export and others.
Nonetheless
,
rely
Change the form of the verb
relying
show examples
on
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
market to support the economic panorama of a
place
, can make it tackle some problems. Many advantages can be listed by fostering
people
to
visite
Correct your spelling
visit
show examples
a
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
place
. Through
this
, it is possible
disseminate
Add the particle
to disseminate
show examples
information about the local culture, foment the market and create job opportunities.
Thus
, the activity can amplify
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
and
economically
Change the word
economic
show examples
the
place
's perspective. In my region,
for instance
, there are restaurants on the riverside which are known for having visitors from diverse parts of the globe.
However
, there are many drawbacks related to the
activety
Correct your spelling
activity
as well. Seasonality,
for instance
, is an important aspect to be considered. A
place
that cannot count on other incomes from another sector will struggle
in managing
Change preposition
to manage
show examples
the
Change the word
its
show examples
finances.
Besides
that, adversities are able to occur and cause interference
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
exploitation.
For example
, in 2020 the world dealt with the Covid-19 pandemic, which made
people
locked down for many months.
As a result
, a bunch of
entrepeneurs
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
who had their business related to
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
visitation had to close.
To conclude
, in my point of view,
tourism
is a perfect way to explore
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
beaty
Correct your spelling
beauty
of a
place
, the hospitality of
people
and foster the economic and social aspects. But,
besides
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
it is important to manage other income sources to avoid economic dependence
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
just one activity.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Establish a clearer and more cohesive structure that logically connects your ideas. The essay currently seems to have a loose structure; ensure that each paragraph clearly presents one main idea with appropriate supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion were present, however, make them more impactful by providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction and a more direct summary of the main points in the conclusion. This would strengthen your essay structure.
coherence cohesion
Provide more developed examples to support your main points. The use of personal examples was good, but they need to be more detailed and explicitly connected to your argument to be effective.
task achievement
Ensure a complete response by fully addressing all parts of the prompt; in this case, you need to provide a more extensive analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of tourism. Make this evident throughout the essay rather than just stating them briefly.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you touched on relevant points, expanding on these would illustrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Explain the impact and implications of each advantage or disadvantage to enhance clarity and depth of your analysis.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your claims about tourism. Include statistics, case studies, or historical comparisons when possible to demonstrate a wider knowledge of the subject.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: