A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are many countries across the world in which
tourism
represents the main economic income. As a
possible explanation Change preposition
A
to
Change preposition
for
this
, could be the fact that these places have a huge source of natural beauty wealth, despite other low development in other areas such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
internacional
trade, service sector, export and others. Correct your spelling
international
Nonetheless
, rely
on Change the form of the verb
relying
tourism
market to support the economic panorama of a Correct article usage
the tourism
place
, can make it tackle some problems.
Many advantages can be listed by fostering people
to visite
a Correct your spelling
visit
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
place
. Through this
, it is possible disseminate
information about the local culture, foment the market and create job opportunities. Add the particle
to disseminate
Thus
, the activity can amplify social
and Correct article usage
the social
economically
the Change the word
economic
place
's perspective. In my region, for instance
, there are restaurants on the riverside which are known for having visitors from diverse parts of the globe.
However
, there are many drawbacks related to the activety
as well. Seasonality, Correct your spelling
activity
for instance
, is an important aspect to be considered. A place
that cannot count on other incomes from another sector will struggle in managing
Change preposition
to manage
the
finances. Change the word
its
Besides
that, adversities are able to occur and cause interference on
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
tourism
exploitation. For example
, in 2020 the world dealt with the Covid-19 pandemic, which made people
locked down for many months. As a result
, a bunch of entrepeneurs
who had their business related to Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
people
visitation had to close.
Change noun form
people's
To conclude
, in my point of view, tourism
is a perfect way to explore natural
Correct article usage
the natural
beaty
of a Correct your spelling
beauty
place
, the hospitality of people
and foster the economic and social aspects. But, besides
that
it is important to manage other income sources to avoid economic dependence Add a comma
that,
from
just one activity.Change preposition
on
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coherence cohesion
Establish a clearer and more cohesive structure that logically connects your ideas. The essay currently seems to have a loose structure; ensure that each paragraph clearly presents one main idea with appropriate supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion were present, however, make them more impactful by providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction and a more direct summary of the main points in the conclusion. This would strengthen your essay structure.
coherence cohesion
Provide more developed examples to support your main points. The use of personal examples was good, but they need to be more detailed and explicitly connected to your argument to be effective.
task achievement
Ensure a complete response by fully addressing all parts of the prompt; in this case, you need to provide a more extensive analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of tourism. Make this evident throughout the essay rather than just stating them briefly.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you touched on relevant points, expanding on these would illustrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Explain the impact and implications of each advantage or disadvantage to enhance clarity and depth of your analysis.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your claims about tourism. Include statistics, case studies, or historical comparisons when possible to demonstrate a wider knowledge of the subject.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?