Some people think that parents should limit the time their children spend watching TV and playing computer games and encourage them to read books instead. Do you agree or disagree?
Recently, quite a lot of
children
are
keen on spending Wrong verb form
have been
time
on screen, such
as playing online games or watching TV. I am convinced that these
Correct determiner usage
this
time
should be restricted by their parents, and more time
should be focused on readings
Correct your spelling
reading
instead
.
One of Correct article usage
the reason
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
regarding
Change preposition
for
this
viewpoint could be related to children
's health
. For physical health
, according to
several scientific findings and people's common sense, spending long
duration Correct article usage
a long
in
Change preposition
on
electronic
Add an article
the electronic
device
does harm to personal Fix the agreement mistake
devices
health
due to
its
physical nature and essence, Correct pronoun usage
their
whatever
young adults or Correct word choice
whether
the
aged people. Especially for the former, because they are growing with numerous organs and parts being immature, it is more likely to Correct article usage
apply
be suffered
from endless exposure to screen Wrong verb form
suffer
time
. Besides
, mental health
cannot be ignored. It is obvious that some TV programmes are full of horric
, fake and Correct your spelling
horrific
unhealth
information, like violence, gambling and so forth. Correct your spelling
unhealthy
Nevertheless
, children
fail to distinguish what is positive and negative beacuse
of their immaturity Correct your spelling
because
on
mentality, and they tend to have the possibility to commit Change preposition
in
crime
if they Add an article
a crime
the crime
emitate
Correct your spelling
imitate
such
negative information and put them into the
reality. Correct article usage
apply
In contrast
, readings should be attached importance to every family since reading a majority of books can cultivate our
To conclude
, parents' limitation of time
on watching TV and playing online games would be a
appropriate selection for Change the article
an
children
's physical and psychological health
. Alternatively, doing some readings is of benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
on
Change preposition
to
children
.Submitted by asllchkied on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences and supporting details that logically flow from one idea to the next. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
task achievement
For task achievement, extend and fully develop your main points with relevant examples and explanations. Address all parts of the prompt thoroughly, ensuring that your opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion