IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think are the cauces of this? What solutions can you suggest?

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Traffic
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 Jam become the main problem in terms of
transportation
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 worldwide. Some
people
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 think that
this
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 issue can be caused by several reasons. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss not only some problems that can be the root of
traffic
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 congestion
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 the solution that can be provided to solve it.
To begin
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 with,
traffic
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 jams can be the result of the poor public
transportation
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 provided by the Government. Managing public
transportation
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 that can be fully accessed by folks is really important in a metropolitan city.
For example
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, if a city does not have a Mass Rapid Train
that is
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 built underground,
then
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 everyone will drive their own vehicle to go to either work or school.
Furthermore
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, everyone will ride their car and the route will be congested with vehicles.
However
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, some solutions can be given to
this
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 problem.
First,
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the Government should implement and provide a better
transportation
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 system that utilizes alternative routes
such
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 as underground tunnels or elevated sky buses. Having alternate routes in a large metropolis might provide more options for
people
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 to transport.
Second,
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raising the automobile purchase tax rate can reduce the amount of
people
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 buying a new vehicle.
This
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 could be another solution since some
people
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 avoid paying taxes. If the tax gets higher, the best option for conveying will be public
transportation
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.
To Sum Up
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, I believe the main problem of
traffic
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 congestion is the poor public
transportation
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 provided by the Government.
Nevertheless
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, two potential solutions can be offered to tackle
this
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 issue
such
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 as utilizing alternative routes like underground tunnels or elevated sky buses, and raising the vehicle purchase tax.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly differentiated and that they effectively encapsulate the overall thesis and summary of your argument respectively. While your essay has these components, making them stand out more can lead to a clearer understanding of your position and improve the overall logical structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your main points by expanding on your ideas with more sophisticated arguments or analysis. This will show a deeper level of understanding and enhance the quality of your essay.
Task Achievement
Make use of more precise and varied examples that directly support your arguments. While you provided some examples, offering more detailed and specific scenarios can strengthen your essay's persuasiveness and relevance.
Task Achievement
Consider increasing the complexity of your sentence structures and vary your language use to express your ideas more clearly and concisely. Doing so could contribute to a higher ranking in task achievement by making your ideas more comprehensive.
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