IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line chart shows fish and meat consumption in Europe from 1979 to 2004

The line chart shows fish and meat consumption in Europe from 1979 to 2004
#line #fish #meat #consumption #europe
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The graph above gives an outline of the grams of meat consumed per week in Europe in the timeline of 1979-2004. As time goes by,
popularity
Correct article usage
the popularity
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 some meats decreases and for some increases.
However
Linking Words
, for meats like fish, demand neither lowers nor increases in
this
Linking Words
 timeline. In the following paragraph,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will be giving you more details on
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we can clearly state that in the olden times of 1979-1989,
beef
Use synonyms
 was the most in demand. Eventually,
Use synonyms
chicken
Add an article
the chicken
show examples
 started being consumed more so the sales of
chicken
Use synonyms
 must
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
have increased over those 10 years. In 1989, the grams of
chicken
Use synonyms
 and
beef
Use synonyms
 eaten were the same.
Although
Linking Words
,
lamb
Add an article
the lamb
a lamb
show examples
 was
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed the most in 1979,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the amount was still smaller than
beef
Use synonyms
.
Population
Add an article
The population
show examples
 of
europe
Change the capitalization
Europe
show examples
 never preferred fish as much that's why the grams of meat never got bigger over the years,
this
Linking Words
 could be
due to
Linking Words
 less availability of it.
Overall
Linking Words
, I can state that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
demand
Add an article
the demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
beef
Use synonyms
 had the highest rate
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 decrease over the years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
chicken
Use synonyms
 had the biggest increase and was the most bought and eaten meat in 2004.
Submitted by routmanmayee on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words beef, chicken with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 4 times.
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