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Band 5

Write a letter to friend to inform them of a celebration you are having for a recent job promotion. Include information about The promotion The celebration Their accommodation

#friend #celebration #job #promotion #information #accommodation
Dear Mary, I hope
this
 letter finds you well.
Although
 we met
such
 a short time, I
feels
Change the verb form
feel
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 it's much longer. When you hear
this
 news, you will be
at the end
 of your seat. I got promoted
as
Change preposition
to
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 marketing director of my company's newly opened
divison
Correct your spelling
division
 which is marketing
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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 products. I might need your support to understand more about healthcare products as
you'r
Correct your spelling
you are
 a
well practicing
Add a hyphen
well-practicing
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 physician. The celebration is
planning
Wrong verb form
planned
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at my uncle's farm in the
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
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 of Duran on February 24. I will text you the directions and the location map. Do you remember the place? We have been there for the wedding of my
cousine
Correct your spelling
cousin
 in 2019. Why don't you come
to
Change preposition
apply
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two days earlier and
hangout
Correct your spelling
hang out
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 some time with me
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 You don't worry about the accommodation there are plenty of rooms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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available. Text me what you think. I can't
waite
Correct your spelling
wait
 to see you again. With warm regards, Jennifer.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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structure
Try to organize your ideas into clear, separate paragraphs - one for the promotion, one for the celebration details, and one for accommodation.
cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs, like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'As for your accommodation'.
task response
Give more specific details about the job promotion, such as your new responsibilities or what the role entails.
accuracy
Check your grammar and spelling to enhance clarity and formal tone where needed.
task response
Offer more specific information about accommodation arrangements, like how your friend can book a room or if you need to make arrangements for them.
tone
Be consistent in tone throughout the letter. While a friendly tone is suitable, avoid overly casual language in a written letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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