IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Write at least 150 words.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Write at least 150 words.
#maps #show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two maps show the changes before and after the development of
Use synonyms
Norbition
Correct article usage
the Norbition
show examples
 industry
area
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the purpose is to turn the
Norbition
Use synonyms
 industry
area
Use synonyms
 into a residential
area
Use synonyms
 that provides a complete living resource.  The first map reveals the current situation of
Use synonyms
Norbition
Correct article usage
the Norbition
show examples
 industry
area
Use synonyms
 which is completely occupied by factories without any living
area
Use synonyms
 in it. 
However
Linking Words
, after development, as shown in the second map, all factories will be torn down and replaced with
housings
Fix the agreement mistake
housing
show examples
 and facilities that
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
show examples
 for daily life,
such
Linking Words
 as
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
,
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
, shops, etc. Meanwhile, the roadways
also
Linking Words
 become more accessible in all directions
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the layout of the buildings. To the north of the
factory
Add a comma
factory,
show examples
 there is a river running through the entire
Norbition
Use synonyms
 industrial
area
Use synonyms
. On the other side of the river, there is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
farmland
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the plan, a bridge will be built to connect the two sides of the river in the future, and the residential
area
Use synonyms
 will take the convenience and reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the other side. By
then
Linking Words
 the
farmland
Use synonyms
 can coexist with the residential
area
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the
area
Use synonyms
 of
farmland
Use synonyms
 has shrunk, without the pollution from factories, the
farmland
Use synonyms
 will be better developed.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words norbition, area, farmland with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned future development
  • factories
  • warehouses
  • railway line
  • shopping center
  • residential buildings
  • college
  • mixed-use zone
  • commercial
  • residential
  • educational
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian walkways
  • housing
  • community
  • retail services
  • revitalize
  • quality of life
  • vibrant
  • sustainable
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