IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992

The two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992
The 3 diagrams show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital between 1960, 1980 and 2000. In 1960, there were 4 constructions located near the main road ( the Shopping
Centre
Use synonyms
, the Hospital, the Farmland and the
Car
Use synonyms
Park
Use synonyms
). But in 1980 the Shopping
Centre
Use synonyms
 was changed to the Cancer
Centre
Use synonyms
 and the Pharmacy. And
instead
Linking Words
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 Farmland, the Nursing School was built here. But the Hospital and
Car
Use synonyms
Park
Use synonyms
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
have remained
show examples
 in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 place. In 2000, the Nursing School was removed and built between the Cancer
Centre
Use synonyms
 and the
Car
Use synonyms
Park
Use synonyms
, making the
Car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 smaller and making the Cancer
Centre
Use synonyms
 the largest building. The Hospital and The Pharmacy were not changed places. The diagrams show that all of the buildings, except the Hospital, were changed places. Some buildings were added and some were demolished.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, car, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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