IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #right #access #internet #governments #services
It is undeniable that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has become an essential part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
However
, there is no absolute agreement on whether
access
 to the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 should be
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free or not. A commonly held belief is that every person has a right to
access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
internet
 and
access
 should be provided for free by governments. As
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 they point to
high
Add an article
the high
show examples
 cost of
internet
. In the contemporary
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 all
people
 have mobile phones, computers and other devices, but the vast majority of techniques cannot work without
internet
 availability. So
people
 have to buy
internet
 that gives
access
 to at least 10-12
people
 or more than that and pay each month
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
internet
 connection on their phone.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, concluding annual pay for
internet
access
 is high in
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 world and it is not
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 option for city dwellers. Other than that,
people
 demand
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
access
 to the
internet
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to searching information, immediately.
On the other hand
, some
people
 claim that
access
 to the
internet
 is not a right and should be paid for like other services.
For example
, they may mention that
inventers
Correct your spelling
inventors
 created technologies divided from the
internet
. So some
people
 reckon
access
 to the
internet
 is like other services which
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 payment.
In addition
, the
internet
 gives
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to open all programs and apps. So its service should not be for free. What I think about
access
 to the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is its availability should be free. The reason for that
it
Add a missing verb
is it
show examples
 is complicated to find
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 everywhere, even
you
Correct word choice
if you
show examples
 do not know
code
Correct article usage
the code
show examples
 of it. In conclusion, I hope
access
 to the
internet
 will be
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free and
inventers
Correct your spelling
inventors
 will provide
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
function
Fix the agreement mistake
functions
show examples
 that
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not require
enter
Correct article usage
an enter
show examples
 code.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Structure
Try to structure your essay with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion to enhance readability.
Linking
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and make your argument more coherent.
Specific Examples
Providing more specific examples to support your arguments could strengthen your position and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Response
You effectively covered both views and provided a clear opinion, which meets the task requirements well.
Coherence
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic with a logical flow of main points, which aids coherence.
Structure
The use of an introduction and conclusion helps frame your essay, though improvement in clarity could be beneficial.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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