Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don't. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.
There is an increasing number of talented
people
and how they give amazing contribution
. It is often argued that any sports figure Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
a
good fame for the youngster to develop their future career, whilst the others don’t think so. In my opinion, Remove the article
apply
this
is a positive trend which can propose influence to the young age and potentially mitigate negativity among them.
Human
Add an article
A human
The human
being
, tend to copy Fix the agreement mistake
beings
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
people
’s behavior
and personality especially when Change the spelling
behaviour
its
model Correct pronoun usage
their
have
an aspiring figure. Change the verb form
has
Moreover
, the youth will receive a positive influence which can be useful for themselves. It is therefore
agreed that pro athletes who ever made an appearance on
Change preposition
in
media
spotlight during their prior activity will be resulted as inspiring work. Their highlighted dedication and passion will be a solid reason to motivate younger Correct article usage
the media
people
.
However
, many disagree and feel that athletes as role model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
was
unnecessary. Wrong verb form
are
Human
need to seek Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
for
another motivation and examine their hidden Change preposition
apply
value able
skills to improve Correct word choice
valuable
a
Change the word
their
life
. Despite Fix the agreement mistake
lives
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
gaining
from other Wrong verb form
gained
people
, the youth must understand about
their valuable skills and make their own motivation. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, Change preposition
at the
the
young age shouldn’t copy someone and start owning unrealistic expectations but start facing the real Correct article usage
a
condition
. Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
The young
Correct article usage
Young
people
shouldn’t feel burdened by pressure
lifestyle, Correct article usage
a pressure
instead
living a life in
their own set pace.
In conclusion, Change preposition
at
while
the benefits of having an athlete as Correct word choice
apply
role
model will allow Add an article
a role
people
to explore themselves, gain
particular information and motivation. Correct word choice
and gain
However
, as long as you are not losing self identity
and consider which positive benefits can be applied to a life.Add a hyphen
self-identity
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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that paragraphs are well-developed with clear topic sentences followed by supporting details and examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point and transition smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Include a balanced conclusion that restates your main points and clearly expresses your own opinion, while providing a summary of the discussion.
task achievement
Ensure a complete response to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. The essay should discuss both views and give your own opinion with a clear stance throughout.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas by expanding on your arguments and providing more detailed explanations and specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Enhance the essay by including more relevant and specific examples to effectively illustrate your arguments and to demonstrate a broad range of language ability.