IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the work. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#year #languages #people #life #work
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Compared to the past,
language
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 is constantly losing its diversity. Except for common
languages
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such
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 as English, Chinese, or Spanish, unique
languages
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 are disappearing. It can be thought that standardization of
language
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 provides simpler working
condition
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conditions
show examples
.
However
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, I strongly disagree that
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
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 of
languages
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 is beneficial.
First,
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it will result in cultural disappearance, and
people
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 using common
languages
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 will be dominant over
people
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 who do not use common
languages
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.
To begin
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 with,
removal
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the removal
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 of
language
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 can lead culture to vanish.
For instance
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, in the case of South Korea, even though it has its own
language
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 called Hangeul, many signs are written in English.
This
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phenomonon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 is getting serious over time. Hangeul has its cultural significance since letters were made by
the
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apply
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King Sejong in
Joseon
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the Joseon
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 Dynasty and
is
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are
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 only being used in Korea.
Hence
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,
gradual
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the gradual
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 loss of Hangeul
also
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 means that
important
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an important
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 part of the culture of Korea is being lost.
Therefore
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, I insist that
disappearance
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the disappearance
show examples
 of
language
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 is disadvantageous.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 using major
languages
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,
such
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 as English, Chinese, or Spanish will be advantageous in the
work
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 over
people
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 who do not use it.
According to
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 the
statistic
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statistics
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, 40% of the population still
use
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uses
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 their unique
languages
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 rather than common
languages
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. These
people
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 will experience difficulties if only common
langauges
Correct your spelling
languages
language
 are used in the
work
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,
accordingly
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less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 opportunities will be distributed for them.
Thus
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, deleting
languages
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 in the
work
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 will bring inequality. That being said, I disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the statement.
To sum up
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, it is true that standardization sometimes prompts simpler
way
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ways
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 of
the
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apply
show examples
work
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.
However
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, in the case of
language
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 loss, its negative aspects are greater than
positive
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its positive
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 aspects - it
cause
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causes
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 cultural disappearance and inequality among
population
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the population
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.
Submitted by yelim050319 on

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introduction
The essay introduction could be improved by clearly stating your opinion, offering a brief overview of the reasons supporting your stance. This helps to guide the reader through your argument.
logical structure
Enhance the logical structure by better organizing paragraphs and using topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph. This will reinforce the flow of your argument.
cohesion
Increase the use of cohesive devices (linking words or phrases) to connect ideas more effectively and create a more fluent essay.
examples
To boost task achievement, ensure that each body paragraph includes clear and comprehensive ideas that are expanded with specific examples or evidence. In your essay, the examples should be developed further to support the points made.
conclusion
In the conclusion, succinctly summarize the main points of your argument and restate your opinion to reinforce your stance to the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Linguistic diversity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Monolithic global culture
  • Language extinction
  • Bilingualism
  • Cognitive benefits
  • Cultural erosion
  • Global communication
  • Identity and community
  • Problem-solving
  • Language preservation
  • Heritage languages
  • Multilingualism
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