Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion

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Job searching
required
Wrong verb form
requires
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some qualifications to meet, especially a level of
education
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and
practices
Fix the agreement mistake
practice
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.
However
Linking Words
, Employment after passing higher
education
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or after practical knowledge of
handful
Correct article usage
a handful
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Use synonyms
skills
Change preposition
of skills
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such
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as teamwork, communication, interpersonal and cooperation is a topic of concern. I believe that
skills
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are more important because they are taught at
anyplace
Correct your spelling
any place
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. In the upcoming
paragraphs
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paragraphs,
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I will elaborate
these
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on these
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further
Linking Words
. To commence with,
college
Correct article usage
a college
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education
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provide
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provides
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youngsters
the
Add the preposition
with the
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training
of
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in
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subjects which are necessary to search a employment and work.
For example
Linking Words
,
few
Correct article usage
a few
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topics like mathematics and marketing enhanced their tutoring to get
Correct article usage
a master
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master
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master's
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in these subjects. Before entering into office they gain their knowledge which results
into
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in
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less struggle during office hours.
Moreover
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, till
the
Correct article usage
apply
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higher studies young
people
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can be mature enough to handle
the
Correct article usage
apply
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business disturbance and the work holic life. They can handle
without
Correct pronoun usage
it without
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the assistance of parents.
Hence
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, they will be less dependent on others for their tasks owing to the coaching they have.
On the contrary
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, some
people
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are born with good teamwork, interpersonal, and communication
skills
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. They do not need to get any studies to start a business.
For example
Linking Words
,
owner
Correct article usage
the owner
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of the TATA
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
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of companies started his career after passing secondary
education
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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believe that they need
motivation
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the motivation
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to achieve success
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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credentials.
Additionally
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, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time passes learning behaviour is enhanced
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
a higher extent. Kids of these days develop
skills
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
on
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their own
due to
Linking Words
the learning ability they have. To illustrate, from a study it is seen that they are doing much better
on
Change preposition
in
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work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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as compared to the citizens who have degrees.
To conclude
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, finding a job is essential for everyone. But should it be after attaining
university
Correct article usage
a university
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degree or after practical knowledge
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Hence
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, after an
analysis
Add a comma
analysis,
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it is clear that
Linking Words
people
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can
get
Verb problem
achieve
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more success if they know how to survive in
business
Add an article
the business
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world with
good
Correct article usage
a good
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command
in
Change preposition
of
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soft
skills
Use synonyms
because with practice they can learn about topics but not about
skills
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kb781920 on

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coherence cohesion
You should work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly to enhance logical flow. Each paragraph should contain one main idea, clearly stated at the beginning, then expanded with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved by stating your main argument more explicitly and providing a clearer summary of your position in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task, but some of your ideas are repetitive or unclear. Try to ensure that each paragraph progresses your argument and that your ideas are distinct and well-expressed.
task achievement
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to fully express your ideas. This will make your arguments more compelling and easier to understand.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will help you demonstrate your understanding of the topic and make your arguments more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • industry-specific skills
  • career services
  • networking opportunities
  • intellectual capability
  • practical experience
  • real-world scenarios
  • soft skills
  • on-the-job experiences
  • portfolio
  • demonstrated skillset
  • formal education credentials
  • company culture
  • academia
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