Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion
Job searching
required
some qualifications to meet, especially a level of Wrong verb form
requires
education
and practices
. Fix the agreement mistake
practice
However
, Employment after passing higher education
or after practical knowledge of handful
Correct article usage
a handful
skills
Change preposition
of skills
such
as teamwork, communication, interpersonal and cooperation is a topic of concern. I believe that skills
are more important because they are taught at anyplace
. In the upcoming Correct your spelling
any place
paragraphs
I will elaborate Add a comma
paragraphs,
these
Change preposition
on these
further
.
To commence with, college
Correct article usage
a college
education
provide
youngsters Change the verb form
provides
the
training Add the preposition
with the
of
subjects which are necessary to search a employment and work. Change preposition
in
For example
, few
topics like mathematics and marketing enhanced their tutoring to get Correct article usage
a few
Correct article usage
a master
master
in these subjects. Before entering into office they gain their knowledge which results Change noun form
master's
into
less struggle during office hours. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, till the
higher studies young Correct article usage
apply
people
can be mature enough to handle the
business disturbance and the work holic life. They can handle Correct article usage
apply
without
the assistance of parents. Correct pronoun usage
it without
Hence
, they will be less dependent on others for their tasks owing to the coaching they have.
On the contrary
, some people
are born with good teamwork, interpersonal, and communication skills
. They do not need to get any studies to start a business. For example
, owner
of the TATA Correct article usage
the owner
groups
of companies started his career after passing secondary Fix the agreement mistake
group
education
. Therefore
, people
believe that they need motivation
to achieve success Change the article
the motivation
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
the
credentials. Correct article usage
apply
Additionally
, as the
time passes learning behaviour is enhanced Correct article usage
apply
on
a higher extent. Kids of these days develop Change preposition
to
skills
at
their own Change preposition
on
due to
the learning ability they have. To illustrate, from a study it is seen that they are doing much better on
Change preposition
in
work place
as compared to the citizens who have degrees.
Correct your spelling
workplace
To conclude
, finding a job is essential for everyone. But should it be after attaining university
degree or after practical knowledgeCorrect article usage
a university
.
Change the punctuation
?
Hence
, after an analysis
Add a comma
analysis,
it is clear that
people
can get
more success if they know how to survive in Verb problem
achieve
business
world with Add an article
the business
good
command Correct article usage
a good
in
soft Change preposition
of
skills
because with practice they can learn about topics but not about skills
.Submitted by kb781920 on
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coherence cohesion
You should work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly to enhance logical flow. Each paragraph should contain one main idea, clearly stated at the beginning, then expanded with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved by stating your main argument more explicitly and providing a clearer summary of your position in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task, but some of your ideas are repetitive or unclear. Try to ensure that each paragraph progresses your argument and that your ideas are distinct and well-expressed.
task achievement
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to fully express your ideas. This will make your arguments more compelling and easier to understand.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will help you demonstrate your understanding of the topic and make your arguments more persuasive.