In many countries schoools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the cuases of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #schoools #student #behaviour #cuases

These days lots of countries schools suffer from

student’s

Fix the agreement mistake

students’

show examples

seriously rude

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. In

this

essay, I will talk about

causes

Correct article usage

the causes

show examples

and

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

for

deal

Wrong verb form

dealing

show examples

with

this

problem. In regard to

causes

, nowadays many

parents

do not have enough time to take care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

children

. Under

this

situation,

children

who have busy

parents

can get a lack of affection.

This

means that it can

causes

Change the verb form

cause

show examples

bad behaviour in their school. Many

parents

who work for

5days

Correct your spelling

5 days

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a week do not have time to teach their

children

, probably they will neglect their kids.

For

this

reason, student

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not have enough love from their

parents

and it

Add a missing verb

is related

show examples

express

Wrong verb form

expressing

show examples

their

emotion

Fix the agreement mistake

emotions

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school. It could

be taken

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

a toll

for

Change preposition

show examples

teachers or colleagues. To solve

this

problem, government should be taking action for schools and

also

students who suffer from

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of affection.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

has to make some

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

which is

Verb problem

that

show examples

educate

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

parents

. If

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

participant

Replace the word

participate

show examples

this

Change preposition

in this

show examples

program

before they become a parent, they can learn about how can teach their kids and how can give love

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

children

. Under

this

program

, they can get a

minimize

Replace the word

minimal

show examples

knowledge about parenting. It could

be help

Change the verb form

help

show examples

to reduce student’s bad behaviour in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school.

For example

, in Korea, some

parents

educated

Add a missing verb

are educated

show examples

about sexual issues in the wrong way. Students who were educated by

this

parent did not know how can express their love. In

this

situation, they sometimes bother girls or commit crimes. In conclusion, all around the world schools have a problem to handle with student behaviour. The main

causes

Fix the agreement mistake

cause

show examples

this

situation are lack of affection and if

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

takes action for

this

such

as making an education

program

for

parents

, it can

resolve

Wrong verb form

be resolved

show examples

Submitted by jiyoonahn99 on Fri Jan 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Develop your ideas further with more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your main points and ensure that each paragraph elaborates on a single main idea.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure by using connectors and transitional phrases to link your ideas more clearly, which will improve the cohesion of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on introducing your essay with a clearer outline of the points that you will discuss, and closing it with a stronger conclusion that summarizes your ideas and restates your solution effectively.

task achievement

Strive to address all parts of the task more evenly, ensuring that you fully develop both causes and solutions to the problem with a balanced approach throughout the essay.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Remember, examples make your arguments more persuasive and concrete, and this is expected at IELTS Band 6 and above.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries schoools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the cuases of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this?

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country, while some people think there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than economic progress?

Some people think companies should employ old people to work as they have a lot of working experience. Others, however, think it is better to recruit young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A faction of people hold(?) the notion that employment in(?) not necessary if there is a stable income. I totally agree with this opinion as ample reasons to substantiate it. This essay will explain my view with relevant illustrations.