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Band 5

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #advice
Dear John, I am
wiriting
Correct your spelling
writing
 to provide
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
show examples
 based on my past experience so that you can have a great summer vacation. I'm aware of your hectic routine
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why I told you multiple
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 to take
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 break from your work
this
 will not only give you
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
 to relax but
also
 you will enjoy natural beauty.
Moreover
, camping is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great idea to connect to nature where you can enjoy picturesque
scenries
Correct your spelling
scenery
while
 having fun, cooking, and eating with your friends on
bonfire
Add an article
a bonfire
the bonfire
show examples
.
However
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 downsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 camping.
First,
you may required to acclimatise yourself
according to
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
else
Rephrase
otherwise,
show examples
 you will catch cold so wear warm clothes.
Then
, public toilets are mostly
unhygenic
Correct your spelling
unhygienic
.
Last
, remote sites are expensive.
Therefore
, these are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 challenges you are gonna face. As,
Its
Replace the word
It's
it is
show examples
 been long since I went
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 vacation and you are planning for it.
Hence
, definitely, I will join you and we will have fun together. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Ben
Submitted by Haris Khan on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in conveying the reasons why you think camping would be enjoyable for your friend. Expand on the details to enrich the content.
task achievement
Address specifically the advantages and disadvantages of camping, perhaps giving more concrete examples or stories to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing: aim to explore each main idea in a separate paragraph to enhance readability and organization.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more clearly, thus improving flow and coherence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure
  • serenity
  • outdoors
  • refreshing
  • hustle and bustle
  • inherent
  • foster
  • distractions
  • cost-effective
  • unpredictable
  • wildlife
  • adequate preparation
  • physical demands
  • researching
  • campsite
  • lasting memories
  • mutual interests
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