Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is discussed by a part of society that
students
should only focus on their main lessons at the Use synonyms
university
, Use synonyms
another
group of Correct word choice
while another
people
oppose and consider that Use synonyms
the
college education is not for only main subjects, Correct article usage
a
Linking Words
also
to improve Correct word choice
but also
for
their social skills. I will discuss both sides in Change preposition
apply
this
essay below.
A group of Linking Words
people
support that Use synonyms
the
college education Correct article usage
a
is improve
student's social skills. It is a place where student can develop themselves not only in their lessons Change the verb form
improves
Linking Words
also
in community lives too. Colleges are very important Correct word choice
but also
area
for Fix the agreement mistake
areas
Use synonyms
life long
learning. Correct your spelling
lifelong
For example
, an Linking Words
engineer
student can learn economics in Change the verb form
engineering
university
if she or he is interested. These multiple skills contribute a huge benefit to Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
in
after their professional careers.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, a part of society Linking Words
think
and Change the verb form
thinks
support
that Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
students
should focus on their main subjects in Use synonyms
Use synonyms
university
years. The bachelor's degree is very important for Correct pronoun usage
their university
students
. BecauseUse synonyms
,
it is too difficult to find a job for new Remove the comma
apply
graduate
. They have no Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
any
job Correct quantifier usage
apply
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
therefore
, they are hiring Linking Words
due to
their bachelor's degree and educational knowledge. Linking Words
People
can improve themselves easily after Use synonyms
the
educational Change the word
their
life
because they will earn money in business Use synonyms
life
. Use synonyms
Hence
, it will be easier to get opportunities to develop themselves.
My opinion is Linking Words
the
universities are the place where we can develop and discover ourselves. There are many Correct your spelling
that
kind
of activities , so we have an opportunity to choose which one is proper for us.
In conclusion, Change to a plural noun
kinds
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
Use synonyms
life
is the most critical and important age of Use synonyms
people
's Use synonyms
life
. Most Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
people
's lives are in taking shape at their Use synonyms
university
Use synonyms
ages
.Fix the agreement mistake
age
Submitted by mervekerkuklu on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, aim to create more explicit connections between ideas and paragraphs. This can be done through the use of linking words and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed. Make sure your introduction clearly sets out the points that you will discuss, and the conclusion should summarise your discussion and restate your opinion more distinctly.
coherence cohesion
While you have supported your main points, you could improve by elaborating further on your ideas with deeper analysis and more varied sentence structures. Additionally, including more specific examples and evidence would strengthen your argument and support your points more convincingly.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, but to enhance it, make sure to address all aspects of the prompt more thoroughly. Your discussion of the views can be more balanced and comprehensive.
task achievement
You have presented clear ideas, but to enhance the comprehensiveness of the essay, you could expand on your explanations and show how they relate to the main topic with more clarity.
task achievement
Including relevant and specific examples to support your point of view will significantly enhance your task achievement score. Try to bring in real-life examples, statistics, or research studies to substantiate your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.