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ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 1 The line chart shows the birth rate in the USA and China from 1920 to 2000. You should write at least 150 words.

ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 1 The line chart shows the birth rate in the USA and China from 1920 to 2000. You should write at least 150 words.
#line #birth #rate #usa #china
The figure illustrated the different
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 of US and China
birth
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 in almost a century.
Overall
,
although
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
birth
rate
 was higher than the
birth
rate
 of China, these 2 different countries share
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar fluctuation trend. From the figure,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
birth
rate
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 13 % from 1920 to 1940 followed by hitting
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 low point
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
5
Correct article usage
a 5
show examples
%
birth
rate
 in 1945,
then
 it rose sharply to reach
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 peak at 20 % in 1950. After 1950, the
birth
rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 slowly until it reached 7% in 2000.
On the other hand
,
China
Change noun form
China's
show examples
birth
rate
show
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 some fluctuation
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 11% from 1920 to 1930 and
then
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 15% in 1935. After
experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 fluctuation, it
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 dramatically to 5% in 1940 until 1945,
then
 rocketed to reach
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 peak at 20% in 1950.
Finally
, the trend declined gradually until 2000 at about 2% of
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
rate
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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