The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
The bar chart illustrates the
proportion
of drinking habits in the
last
4 weeks based on
survey
Correct article usage
the survey
show examples
and the
number
of
coffee
and tea consumed by people in five Australian cities.
Overall
, among five
countries
, enjoying
coffee
time at the café
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
the
number
, with the exception
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Adelaide,
while
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
was not popular among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
categories. Sydney, Melbourne, and Hobart were the
countries
with the largest
coffee
and tea consumption, with more than 60 %
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
enjoying
drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
show examples
at café.
This
number
was followed by buying instant
coffee
with the second-largest
proportion
in those
countries
at roughly 45 % to 55%.
In contrast
, buying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
was in the minority among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
group
countries
.
On the other hand
, the
countries
with the lowest
number
consumption were Brisbane and Adelaide. The
proportion
of drinking instant
coffee
and drinking at café had the same
proportion
about 50%,
while
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
fresh
coffee
also
was not popular in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
cities, being the lowest
number
from 5
countries
and drinking habit categories. In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, number, coffee, countries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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