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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The bar chart illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of drinking habits in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks based on
survey
Correct article usage
the survey
show examples
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea consumed by people in five Australian cities.
Overall
Linking Words
, among five
countries
Use synonyms
, enjoying
coffee
Use synonyms
 time at the café
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
, with the exception
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Adelaide,
while
Linking Words
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was not popular among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 categories. Sydney, Melbourne, and Hobart were the
countries
Use synonyms
 with the largest
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea consumption, with more than 60 %
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 enjoying
drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
show examples
 at café.
This
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 was followed by buying instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 with the second-largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 in those
countries
Use synonyms
 at roughly 45 % to 55%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, buying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was in the minority among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 group
countries
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
countries
Use synonyms
 with the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 consumption were Brisbane and Adelaide. The
proportion
Use synonyms
 of drinking instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 and drinking at café had the same
proportion
Use synonyms
 about 50%,
while
Linking Words
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 was not popular in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 cities, being the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 from 5
countries
Use synonyms
 and drinking habit categories. In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, number, coffee, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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