Today, more and more students are choosing to move to other countries to have higher education. Do you think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

#students #move #countries #education

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Due to

the development of transportation

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

and technology,

students

now have more choices of

countries

to have higher

education

compared to the past. I assure

that

Correct pronoun usage

you that

show examples

the benefits

from

Change preposition

show examples

studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks.

This

essay will logically explain why studying outside

home

Correct article usage

the home

show examples

country brings positive change to

students

with

Change preposition

For

show examples

these reasons -

students

are exposed to more diverse educational

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

and living abroad would be a good catalyst to be an independent individual.

To begin

with,

students

who fly to other

countries

for the purpose of having higher

education

will have various experiences home

students

cannot get. The main reason for studying abroad is to study in

countries

which offer

speical

Correct your spelling

special

curriculum

Fix the agreement mistake

curricula

show examples

and programmes that cannot

be afford

Change the verb form

be afforded

show examples

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

country.

For example

, some

countries

in Europe are specialized in

literatures

Change the wording

literature

kinds of literature

pieces of literature

works of literature

show examples

or arts

where

Correct word choice

whereas

show examples

other's

Change noun form

others

show examples

are not.

Hence

, to achieve their educational goals, having higher

education

abroad is more beneficial.

Moreover

, studying in unfamiliar

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

can

stimuli

Replace the word

stimulate

show examples

one's growth. Since there are no families or friends that can support them,

students

have to live independently. In my case, when I studied in America

Change preposition

show examples

my own for two months, I was able to learn how to cook, buy groceries,

Correct word choice

and

show examples

manage spending.

This

experience

of standing alone made me

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

mature person.

Therefore

, leaving

comfort

Add an article

the comfort

show examples

zone to have higher

education

is beneficial for

students

rather than studying in their nation.

To conclude

, studying in other

countries

are priceless

experience

that cannot be replaced by anything in the world.

Students

will have more diverse choices of study, and their

experience

of living and studying alone outside their comfort zone will make them mature.

Submitted by yelim050319 on Sun Jan 21 2024

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Task Response

The essay generally addresses the task, outlining both benefits of studying abroad; however, a more balanced argument considering some drawbacks explicitly would give a more comprehensive response to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ideas are presented in a logical structure, yet transitions could be smoother. Usage of a broader range of cohesive devices would enhance the flow of argumentation.

Task Response

Develop your main points further by including more detailed examples. Quantitative data, references to studies, or specific personal experiences could add depth to the arguments.

Language Accuracy

Check for minor typographical errors, such as 'other's are not' which should be 'others are not.'

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Today, more and more students are choosing to move to other countries to have higher education. Do you think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

you and some friends ate meal at a restaurant to celebrate a special occasion, and you wre very pleased with the food and sevise.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

many parts of the world people are relying more and more on prepared food from grocery stores and restaurants because they are too busy to cook at home . this is bad because home cooked food is much better for us to what extend do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?