Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest

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It is important to have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

leisure

time

Use synonyms

admist

Correct your spelling

despite

the

day to day

Add a hyphen

day-to-day

show examples

hustle of an

individula's

Correct your spelling

individual's

life as it helps to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental health and

improve

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

creative skills.

However

Linking Words

, not everyone enjoys their 9-5 job,

hence

Linking Words

they have their favourite hobby to carry out during their leisure

time

Use synonyms

or during the weekends.

Firstly

Linking Words

incoporating

Correct your spelling

incorporating

reading, solving puzzles and playing any sport helps to promote the mental health of an individual and keeps the body fit as well.

This

Linking Words

will

further

Linking Words

encourage and enhance the mind to prepare for the following week of work.

For example

Linking Words

, a research study shows people working in IT day and night lead to various

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

problems. In order to avoid

such

Linking Words

difficlties

Correct your spelling

difficulties

, employers are now forced by the government to give the

employee's

Change noun form

employee

show examples

frequent intervals between long hours of work.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they can

also

Linking Words

use

this

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

for utilizing the office's gym or

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

time

Use synonyms

reading a book.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it is always better to learn new skills which

further

Linking Words

will improve the career aspects and

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

to make a passive income as well.

For example

Linking Words

, I read an article about a woman who won the title "Miss World",

although

Linking Words

she was a doctor by profession. She

further

Linking Words

said fitness has been her escape from her busy days at the hospital and

this

Linking Words

hobby motivated her to join the

pagent

Correct your spelling

pageant

for the Miss World. In conclusion, having

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

leisure

time

Use synonyms

helps a person both physically and mentally

furthermore

Linking Words

reseting

Correct your spelling

resetting

the mind.

Submitted by smrithi.joseph25 on Mon Jan 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly state the discussion points and your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to enhance the structure and flow of the essay.

task achievement

Work on developing main points with examples that are fully extended and directly relevant to the task question.

task achievement

Try to balance the discussion between both views before stating your opinion to fully meet the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cognitive abilities
Intellectually stimulating
Acquiring knowledge
Mental relaxation
Burnout
Emotional well-being
Balanced approach
Personal fulfillment
Leisurely pursuits
Mental exertion
Mindfulness
Recreational activities
Professional development
Cerebral exercise
Restorative practices

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Your opinion

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In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative?

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?