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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places, while others argue it is okay to be allowed.

#people #phone #conversations #places
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The debate over whether mobile
phone
conversations
 should be permitted in crowded and social places is a contentious issue, with proponents and opponents presenting valid arguments. Those in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 of a ban argue that mobile
phone
conversations
 in public spaces can be disruptive and intrusive. They contend that loud
conversations
 in crowded areas,
such
 as restaurants, public transportation, or
theaters
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theatres
show examples
, can disturb others and create an unpleasant environment.
Additionally
, some argue that the constant
use
 of phones in social settings hinders face-to-face interactions, diminishing the quality of human connections.
On the other hand
, supporters of allowing mobile
phone
conversations
 in crowded places emphasize individual freedom and the practicality of staying connected. They argue that people should have the autonomy to
use
 their phones wherever they please, as long as they are not causing harm to others.
Moreover
, proponents highlight the importance of accessibility, stating that being able to communicate on the go is a crucial aspect of modern life. In my opinion, a
middle ground
Add a hyphen
middle-ground
show examples
 approach might be more suitable.
While
 an outright ban may infringe on personal freedom, there should be guidelines for responsible
phone
use
 in public spaces. Encouraging individuals to keep
conversations
 at a reasonable volume and
use
 headphones when appropriate could help strike a balance between personal freedom and societal consideration.
Additionally
, promoting awareness about the impact of mobile
phone
use
 on social interactions may encourage people to be more mindful of their surroundings.
Submitted by RosenbergEnglish2024! on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph follows a clear and logical structure, with topic sentences that introduce the main idea followed by supporting sentences. Use cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs without overusing them.
task achievement
Develop your main points by providing specific examples or personal experiences. This makes your essay more persuasive and engaging. Remember to fully extend and support your ideas to achieve a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Disrupt
  • Infringe
  • Social rudeness
  • Public transport
  • Necessity
  • Convenience
  • Emergencies
  • Personal freedom
  • Designated areas
  • Compromise
  • Context
  • Advocating
What to do next:
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