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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram shows a possible future means of home energy production. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows a possible future means of home energy production. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
process
Use synonyms
 diagram illustrates different stages of the electrical energy manufacturing
process
Use synonyms
 for home electricity using biomass products.
Overall
Linking Words
 from an overview perspective, we can see that there are five stages of
electrical
Correct article usage
the electrical
show examples
power making
Add a hyphen
power-making
show examples
process
Use synonyms
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 with composting fermentable ingredients and completed
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 electrical energy saved in
battery
Correct article usage
a battery
show examples
 and ready to use.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we need to fill
3/4
Correct article usage
a 3/4
show examples
 underground steel tank with compostable materials,
such
Linking Words
 as leaves, food waste, scraps, and water. After several days, the materials inside the giant tank begin
composted
Change the verb form
to compost
show examples
 and generate methane
gas
Use synonyms
. The evaporated
gas
Use synonyms
filling
Wrong verb form
fills
show examples
 through the pipe inside the steel tank and out to the methane
gas
Use synonyms
 storage. Afterwards, the biomass
gas
Use synonyms
 is compressed out
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a combustion engine. The biomass
chemically
Add a missing verb
is chemically
show examples
 processed by
burned
Add a missing verb
being burned
show examples
 with oxygen and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 off heat at high
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
.
Next,
Linking Words
the mechanical energy produced from the combustion
process
Use synonyms
 is moved into
generator
Add an article
the generator
a generator
show examples
 and changed into electrical power. The electrical power is saved in
giant
Correct article usage
a giant
show examples
 battery and is ready to use for household electricity usage.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, gas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • renewable energy
  • sustainability
  • solar panels
  • energy storage
  • wind turbine
  • geothermal
  • energy efficiency
  • carbon footprint
  • grid
  • biomass
  • photovoltaic
  • smart meter
  • energy consumption
  • insulation
  • heat pump
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