SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT WOMEN SHOULD PLAY AN EQUAL ROLE AS MEN IN A COUNTRY’S POLICE FORCE OR MILITARY FORCE, SUCH AS THE ARMY, WHILE OTHERS THINK WOMEN ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR THESE KIND OF JOBS. DISCUSS BOTH THE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Nowadays, people have different views about whether
women
should participate in
police
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the police
show examples
force or
army
Correct article usage
the army
show examples
. I will explain both sides and give my own opinion. On the one hand,
women
can bring different perspectives and strengths to these roles.
Women
are
overall
more
sensititive
Correct your spelling
sensitive
and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better observation than men which allows them to provide effective communication and emotional intelligence in some situations.
For example
, during rescues, if there were female officers providing calm and clear
instructios
Correct your spelling
instructions
instruction
, the process would become smoother and
will
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well
show examples
monitored
Add a missing verb
be monitored
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some may believe that physical
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
between men and
women
could affect performance in
malitary
Correct your spelling
military
and police tasks. Difference
such
as weight and height between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
brings unreachable strength
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
between the two genders. In some
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
where both power and speed are required like in
battle
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
field
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battlefield
show examples
, female soldiers may struggle to perform as powerful as male soldiers. In my opinion, making occupations more open for both genders has distinct advantages.
While
providing different aspects into these roles,
women
have
be
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been
show examples
proven to be as
compititive
Correct your spelling
competitive
as men. A good illustration is that recently, more and more female athletes
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
reported by
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
. I believe
women
should have the right to choose their career paths, including in military and police services.
Submitted by yuyi981121 on

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Introduction
Make sure you have a clear introduction that states the topic of the essay as well as your opinion. This will help orient the reader to what will follow.
Logical Structure & Cohesion
Develop a more structured approach by creating clear paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea. Use cohesive devices to link your ideas within and across paragraphs.
Supported Points & Examples
Expand your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples to fully develop your argument. Include a wider variety of examples to strengthen your case.
Conclusion
Sum up your discussion effectively by reiterating your opinion and the most compelling points you've made in the conclusion.
Task Response
Ensure that the response directly answers all parts of the task, and expands on these points to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
Coherence
To improve your coherence, clarity can be enhanced by using a range of linking words and synonyms to ensure fluidity and avoid repetition.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • integration
  • physical prowess
  • combat roles
  • front-line positions
  • unit cohesion
  • emotional intelligence
  • merit-based selection
  • traditional gender roles
  • career paths
  • effective communication
  • adjustments in training
  • hazardous duty
  • liability
  • distraction
  • capability
  • accommodate
  • compromise efficiency
  • safety concerns
  • role model
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