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Band 6.5

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks of holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#employers #staff #four #weeks #holiday #year #employees #jobs
The standard office schedule typically spans 8 hours a day, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., across 5 consecutive days, leading to widespread employee fatigue. To combat
this
, there's a proposal recommending that employers grant at least four weeks of annual leave to enhance workplace performance.
This
 essay supports the proposal that offering at least four weeks of annual leave could significantly boost
work
 outcomes. Humans differ from machines in their need for downtime; relentless annual labour diminishes our efficiency.
This
 effect is especially pronounced in repetitive jobs, where the absence of breaks can degrade performance. Ample evidence has demonstrated that prolonged workdays, especially in roles that interact directly with customers or involve healthcare aggravates the ambient.
Employees
 may provide subpar service and even exhibit unpleasant facial expressions, failing to meet the visitors' expectations leading to tarnishing the company's reputation.
Thus
, breaks are essential for rejuvenation and energy replenishment. Imagining a scenario where staff
work
 every single day without rest highlights the chaos and potential for adverse customer experiences.
This
 realisation bolsters the argument for mandatory four-week vacations, allowing
employees
 time for relaxation, personal pursuits, and a return to
work
 with renewed enthusiasm. Ultimately, given the considerable hours dedicated to
work
, ensuring
employees
 have sufficient time off is critical for maintaining balance and preventing burnout. The entitlement to a month's holiday annually supports a healthy
work
-life balance and upholds the principle that well-rested
employees
 are more productive and engaged, carrying a rewarding impact for both the company and the worker.
Submitted by syarahfatiha321 on

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specific examples
Consider providing more diversified examples to strengthen your argument.
sentence structure
Try to enhance the variety and complexity of your sentence structures to improve overall coherence.
depth of response
While your essay covers the topic well, adding more personal insight or a wider range of perspectives could enrich your argument.
introduction/conclusion
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, creating a strong framework for your argument.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported and contribute to the cohesiveness of your essay.
understanding/topic coverage
Your essay exhibits a clear understanding of the topic, presenting a well-reasoned argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recuperation
  • burnout
  • employee satisfaction
  • loyalty
  • turnover rates
  • recruitment
  • further education
  • innovative
  • supportive work environment
  • work-life balance
  • disrupt
  • workflow
  • mitigated
  • fostering
  • culture of trust and responsibility
What to do next:
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