Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. discuss both views and give your opinion
Some individuals suppose that
parents
should plan free time
activities
for children
. However
, others claimed
that Wrong verb form
claim
children
can decide to choose their own activities
. In my point of view, parents
should manage time
activities
for children
.
On the other hand
, it is crucial for children
to pick their own activities
. When children
are given the freedom to choose their activities
, it makes
them Verb problem
gives
have
a feeling of success and Unnecessary verb
apply
fulfillment
. Change the spelling
fulfilment
For instance
, a kid plays soccer with his friends afterschool
. Correct your spelling
after school
At the end
of the game, they obtain excitement, a sense of achievement, and friendship. Additionally
, children
can do things proactively without needing parental reminders, which will help them discover their passion
and Fix the agreement mistake
passions
hobby
.
I Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
believed
that organizing pastimes by Wrong verb form
believe
parents
has more advantages. Parents
who understand their children
best can arrange time
for training and learning, which will be more beneficial for children's
future. Correct pronoun usage
their children's
Furthermore
, parents
play an important role in selecting activities
aligned with hobbies and strengths, which can help improve essential skills and talents. Parents
can orient to develop their children
’s personal growth.
In conclusion, children
making their own decisions and enjoying their free time
can be beneficial; nevertheless
, parents
planning a well
schedule for Change the adverb
good
children
can be more important for their growth.Submitted by thuhuyen16992qn on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay more effectively with a clear introduction, distinct paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion summarizing your stance. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea with supporting sentences that relate directly to it.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument and your own opinion; however, make sure to develop your main points further with more detailed examples and explanations to fully satisfy the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs. This will help your essay flow better for the reader.
task achievement
Your personal opinion should be a clear and distinct part of your essay. Make sure it is consistently and clearly maintained throughout.
coherence cohesion
Verify that your essay has a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction and is reiterated in the conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!