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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two charts below show the percentage of films released and tickets sold by genre, in 1996 and 2000, in a European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two charts below show the percentage of films released and tickets sold by genre, in 1996 and 2000, in a European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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the bar graphs display the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of movies that let go and vouchers sold in Europe, in topics
such
Linking Words
 as
drama
Use synonyms
,
comedy
Use synonyms
,
fantasy
Use synonyms
 and
romance
Use synonyms
 in 1996 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of movies liberated in 1996 and 2000, had a major rise in
drama
Use synonyms
gender
Use synonyms
 and the least was
romance
Use synonyms
 with similar data.
Also
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of cinema ticket sales, in 1996 the lowest was
fantasy
Use synonyms
gender
Use synonyms
 and the maximum sales were
comedy
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2000 the lowest sold was
Romance
Use synonyms
, but
comedy
Use synonyms
 was the highest at the same that was in in 1996. In 1996 and 2000, the most popular
gender
Use synonyms
 that was out was
Drama
Use synonyms
, and the least making movies
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
romance
Use synonyms
, with similar data by 1996 and 2000. But,
comedy
Use synonyms
 and
fantasy
Use synonyms
 were similar in both years.
According to
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of cinema ticket sales by 1996,
fantasy
Use synonyms
 got the lowest score, compared with
comedy
Use synonyms
, which was 20,
however
Linking Words
,
fantasy
Use synonyms
 got second place with an insignificant number of tickets sold. In 2000
comedy
Use synonyms
 rose one more time with a number over 20, being the
gender
Use synonyms
 more popular.
at
Change preposition
In
show examples
 second place, was
drama
Use synonyms
 with similar data in 1996 and 2000, but
romance
Use synonyms
 by 2000 did not have popularity, since it was the least one
Submitted by jennitobon16 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, drama, comedy, fantasy, romance, gender with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage of films released
  • tickets sold by genre
  • main features
  • make comparisons
  • trends observed
  • significant changes
  • genre popularity
  • relationship between genres
  • corresponding ticket sales
  • correlations or divergences
  • most popular genres
  • consistent popularity
  • emerged genres
  • marked increases or decreases
  • cinematic preferences
  • consumer demand
  • box office performance
  • film industry impact
  • notable improvements or declines
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