IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that all university students should studt whatever they like. Others belive that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #students #studt #belive #study #subjects #future #science #technology
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Some people think that every university
Use synonyms
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
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chose
Wrong verb form
chooses
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 a
subject
Use synonyms
 whatever they like. Some people believe that every university
Use synonyms
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
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 studying
Use synonyms
subject
Add an article
a subject
the subject
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 that will be helpful in the future. I believe that each student
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 own
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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 and
passion
Fix the agreement mistake
passions
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.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 their choice,
Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
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 should choose
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
 to improve and
useful
Add a missing verb
be useful
show examples
 for
Correct pronoun usage
their career
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to
brief
Change the word
briefly
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 about two
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
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 of views with more
practical
Correct pronoun usage
practical ones
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. On the
onehand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, the
students
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 having
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to choose
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
 of their own interest and passion. So it is better to choose subjects
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of their own interest to improve their skills. They
also
Linking Words
 have
option
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the option
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 to grow in their career with what
subject
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 they like and what
subject
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 they studied.
For example
Linking Words
, In the selection of
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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, the parents are
involving
Wrong verb form
involved
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 in most time of the
Use synonyms
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
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 life.
That is
Linking Words
 the reason behind
students
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 are living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a jobless life. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, Some subjects have a good future
such
Linking Words
 as science and technology. In
this
Linking Words
 modern world, the subjects related to software and robots are more important topics. Because it has a great demand for
students
Use synonyms
 after completion of their studies. And the work is transformed from
manual
Add an article
a manual
show examples
 way to artificial intelligence.
For example
Linking Words
, In the
united
Capitalize word
United
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 nation and the
united states
Correct your spelling
United States
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 of
america
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America
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
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 are having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great demand to work in software development and in
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
artificial intelligence. who and all studying Information technology is having a better
furture
Correct your spelling
future
. In my opinion, Student should have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to choose
Use synonyms
subject
Add an article
a subject
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 and it will
helpful
Add a missing verb
be helpful
show examples
 to study with their passion. It
support
Change the verb form
supports
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to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 achieve
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 in their career.
To conclude
Linking Words
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
,
students
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 should have
option
Change the article
the option
show examples
 to choose
Use synonyms
subject
Correct article usage
a subject
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whatever
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they like.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 it should be helpful for their future which
subject
Use synonyms
 they have chosen.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure that you discuss both views equally and provide a clear personal opinion. Make sure to develop each argument with clear and specific reasons, and avoid overly general statements.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use a range of linking devices effectively to connect ideas across the essay. Work on structuring paragraphs clearly, with each one having a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences.
language accuracy
Make sure to use a variety of complex sentence structures throughout your essay. Avoid repetitive sentence beginnings and strive for accuracy in grammar and vocabulary.
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