Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Dicuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.

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In the modern era, some individuals advocate for holding international

events

Use synonyms

. In the meantime, some other groups of society believe their disadvantages outweigh their advantages. With all due respect to the second group, I completely agree with holding these types of ceremonies and I'm going to explain my reasons in the rest of

this

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essay.

To begin

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with, proponents of

such

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ceremonies tout their many advantages.

While

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they're so exciting, they bring people from different nations and cultures together and help to prevail

kindness

Change preposition

in kindness

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and peace against

war

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. In the Second

World

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War

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for instance

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, despite the

war

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between England and Germany, soldiers from both countries came together and played football for several hours which interrupted the

war

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and

killing

Wrong verb form

killed

show examples

each other.

In addition

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to the prevalence of kindness, national

events

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can contribute to the local economy of the host country and enhance tourism in that region.

For example

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, after the 2022

Qatar

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Fifa

World

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Cup,

Qatar

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became one of the most popular destinations for tourists and helped

Qatar

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to have one of the most sustainable and successful economies in the

world

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On the other hand

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such

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huge

events

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can cause some problems for both the environment and humanity. In most cases, the host country should build several stadiums and hotels to accommodate people from all over the

world

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which increases the amount of emission in the air.

In addition

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, to construct these structures, they eliminate a lot of forests which destroys the habitat of a lot of animals and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is a kind of deforestation.

Thus

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, all these can lead to increasing the chance for natural disasters to occur and lower the health of society.

Such

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as the 2022

Qatar

Use synonyms

Fifa

World

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Cup

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

built 12 new stadiums and several hotels where tons of dangerous emissions like CO2 were released into the air.

To conclude

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, despite some environmental problems that are solveable, of course, I think international

events

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can help us to make some friends from other nations and get more familiar with their cultures which is enough for me to think that their benefits absolutely outweigh their drawbacks.

yasinkooshki13866Thu Jan 25 2024

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coherence cohesion

Be sure to structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each containing a single main idea with appropriate supporting details. Introduce your topic, provide a balanced discussion of both views, and conclude with your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Aim for a range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to indicate the relationship between ideas but avoid overuse or use them incorrectly. Examples include 'However,' 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'On the other hand.'

task achievement

For a higher score in task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the prompt equally and develop your position with fully extended and well-supported ideas.

task achievement

Including real-world examples is a strong strategy, but ensure they are directly relevant and substantiated. Avoid making general statements without concrete evidence.

overall

To improve your overall score, work on varying your sentence structures, use a wide range of vocabulary, and proofread to eliminate grammatical errors.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Dicuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

These days people in some countries are living in a “throwaway” society which means people use things in a short time then throw them away. What do you think is the cause and what problem will it lead to?