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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by the UK residents in 1999. Summarize the information and make comparison.

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by the UK residents in 1999. Summarize the information and make comparison.
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The lines illustrate statistics of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling

The spelling of traveling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 by UK residents abroad and by other ones to the UK
since
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 1979 to 1999. It seems to be a dramatic rise over the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 20 years.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,the quantity of British
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists

It seems that tourist may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 who travelled abroad and amount of foreign visitors was similar in 1979, but
at the end
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of the century, the difference was about 30 million. The bar chart demonstrates the most well-known countries visited by the British trippers. We can note that Spain and France with the largest number of British tourists, amounting to around 11 and 9 million.
In
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

contrast
Add a comma
contrast,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In contrast. Consider adding a comma.

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 Turkey was the least popular country represented,
where
Correct word choice
which

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 UK residents took a trip to in 1999.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the peak of tourism from and to England was between 1980s and 90s.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the majority of trips were made to only 5 countries

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upward trend
  • consistent increase
  • sharp rise
  • gradual growth
  • outbound travel
  • inbound tourism
  • popular destination
  • significantly outstripped
  • gap widened
  • given period
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