The proportion of icome adults and children spent on four common items in the UK in 1998

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table presents the percentage of
income
Use synonyms
that UK
adults
Use synonyms
and
children
Use synonyms
allocated to various items in 1998.
Overall
Linking Words
, It is apparent that
food
Use synonyms
represented the largest expense for
adults
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
for
children
Use synonyms
, it was music.
Conversely
Linking Words
, videos were the least significant expense for
adults
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
food
Use synonyms
for
children
Use synonyms
. Regarding
food
Use synonyms
,
adults
Use synonyms
allocated a considerable portion of their
income
Use synonyms
in
this
Linking Words
category, with women contributing more than men, at 39% compared to 14%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
dedicated a minor share to
food
Use synonyms
, just 10%, with a similar outlay by both genders. In the case of music, it saw substantial expenditure from
children
Use synonyms
, particularly at 39%, with a slight difference between boys and girls.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
adults
Use synonyms
' expenditure on music was notably lower, at 5% for both genders. Electronic equipment drew a modest outlay from
adults
Use synonyms
, just 5% of their
income
Use synonyms
, with men's expenditure substantially higher than women's.
However
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
spent a significant part of their
income
Use synonyms
here, especially boys, who outspent girls.
Finally
Linking Words
,
adults
Use synonyms
spent a minimal amount on videos, only 1% of their
income
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
spent a more considerable 12% of their
income
Use synonyms
on
this
Linking Words
item.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your score in coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a clear overall structure for your writing. Ensure your essay includes an introduction that sets the context, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a specific point, and a conclusion that summarizes the key findings or implications. Transitions between sentences and ideas should be smooth and logical.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. You did provide a clear response and relevant examples, but to achieve a higher score, incorporate a wider range of details and make comparisons where appropriate. It's also beneficial to ensure that your conclusion rounds off the essay effectively by providing a clear, final statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: