The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The diagrams give a comparison of the device

ownerships

Fix the agreement mistake

ownership

show examples

in the young

adults

Change to a genitive case

adult's

adults'

show examples

agre

Correct your spelling

age

group

to watch

Change the verb form

watching

show examples

television in Canada between 2009 and 2019.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that in 2009, more people

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

conventional

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

ten years later they were more into flat-screen

Use synonyms

and mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

To begin

Linking Words

with, in 2009, the number of conventional

Use synonyms

and laptop owners

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

dominated

this

Linking Words

trend, with 34% and 20% respectively.

In addition

Linking Words

, users of desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

showed

similar

Correct article usage

a similar

show examples

proportion, at just below 20% each.

However

Linking Words

, the lowest rates were in the usage of flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

and

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

with only 13% combined together.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in 2019, there was a significant increase in the percentage of modern

Use synonyms

and mobile owners, with around 30% each. Meanwhile, the trend of traditional television

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

experienced a dramatic fall of 30%, from 34% to 4%. Even though individuals who used

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

were

Verb problem

apply

show examples

decline

Wrong verb form

declined

show examples

moderately, the amount of tablet users witnessed a level up

Change preposition

show examples

14%.

Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on Thu Jan 25 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

170 words

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