Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children’s health and social skills. Others say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Playing
video
game
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games
show examples
become
trend
Add an article
a trend
show examples
among teenagers as they feel
relax
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relaxed
show examples
during that
time
whereas
, some say it has demerits as they
faced
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face
show examples
health
problem
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problems
show examples
like obesity.
According
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In
show examples
my viewpoint,
the
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apply
show examples
both
point
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points
show examples
have their own
important
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importance
show examples
which I will explain in upcoming paragraphs. To argue with
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
show examples
that playing computer
games
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good
children
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for children
show examples
as they
Add a missing verb
have healths
show examples
healths
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health
show examples
issues
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as when children play
video
games
for
long
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a long
show examples
time
then
their eyes become weaker because the e-devices screen are harmful
for
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to
show examples
student
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students
show examples
eyes. Meanwhile, they become unhealthy as they reduce or avoid
to go
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going
show examples
outside with their friends and family to play outdoor sports. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
these kids become
obesity
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obese
show examples
and
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
of other
problem
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problems
show examples
.
For example
, in
COVID 19
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COVID-19
show examples
, the majority of
student
kii
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spend
their
time
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
playing
games
,
hence
they
left
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are left
show examples
behind in their
edcation
Correct your spelling
education
and
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
also
due to
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
on
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
screen. On the other
handside
Correct your spelling
hand side
, it is somehow good
such
as
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
are various
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
which
are
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is
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education which help to enhance their cognitive skills and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
the study
esay
Correct your spelling
easy
essay
to remember like
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arranging
show examples
arrange
Wrong verb form
arranging
show examples
the words in which
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
learn the meaning and spelling of the words.
In other words
, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
of entertainment
nonetheless
,
student
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students
show examples
indirect
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indirectly
show examples
learn the maximum things for it.
Besides
this
, the crime rate is
also
increase in
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
outside
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is why to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
their children is best to allow them to play
video
game
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games
show examples
in which they can interact with other people like
freefire
Correct your spelling
free fire
free-fire
,
player
Fix the agreement mistake
Players
show examples
can communicate with other
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
and explore the
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
about the world. even not go outside . In conclusion,
although
playing
video
games
is not for their health and career
nevertheless
, I still believe that
it's has
Change the verb form
it has
show examples
some positive effects
also
as
student
stay
front
Change preposition
in front
show examples
of their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
eyes.
Submitted by kirandkaur131 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the views you will discuss. Additionally, end with a clear conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion.
logical structure
Use clear paragraphing with topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to present main ideas. Follow each topic sentence with supporting sentences that develop the idea further.
supported main points
Make sure to expand on your main points by using examples, explanations, or data. Try to use real-world examples that are relevant and strengthen your argument.
complete response
Your response needs to fully address all parts of the task. Ensure that you discuss both views and your opinion in a balanced way, with a similar amount of detail for each.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on presenting your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid vague statements and aim for clarity in your writing to ensure that the reader easily understands your arguments.
relevant specific examples
To improve your score, include relevant and specific examples that directly support the points you are making. Your examples should be detailed enough to add value to your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive skills
  • collaborative
  • communication skills
  • cognitive development
  • excessive gaming
  • health issues
  • isolate
  • monitor
  • obesity
  • problem-solving
  • social skill degradation
  • strategic thinking
  • teamwork
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