IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

■The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. ■Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

■The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. ■Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#■the #information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years #■summarise #features #comparisons
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar graph describes the
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
 of different
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 denote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money to needy
people
 from 1990 to 2010 in British. Overview, in 1990 the majority of
people
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 money to charity
whereas
, in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 the data was data for
same
Add an article
the same
a same
show examples
 time period. As per the provided information that from 18 to 25
age
people
 invest money
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 charity work which calculates above 15% in
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 given year and below 5% in
latter
Add an article
the latter
show examples
 year. Interestingly, the data was almost double in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
age
group
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was around 31% and 24% in
respective
Add an article
the respective
a respective
show examples
 given time
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
. Approximately 43% and 35%,
British
Change preposition
of British
show examples
people
 give
moeny
Correct your spelling
money
 to helpless
people
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
36
Correct article usage
the 36
show examples
 to 50
age
group
 in 1990 and 2010
orderly
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
. Moving towards
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of things
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 51 to 65
age
group
, give
moeny
Correct your spelling
money
 to
people
 with 35% in 1990 which was 5% more
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
 year. Surprisingly, the percentage of both years was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 that was less than 35%
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
people
belong
Wrong verb form
belonged
show examples
 to senior citizens .
Submitted by kirandkaur131 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: