IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Studying art in school improves students’ performance in other subjects because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That’s why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

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Having
art
Use synonyms
 in school as an obligated
subject
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 might contribute to
students
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'
growths
Fix the agreement mistake
growth
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 as it
further
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support
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supports
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students
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' multiskilled abilities to be enhanced.
While
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 some might find
art
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 difficult, others could possibly enjoy
this
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 idea. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would
please
Verb problem
like
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 to examine both agreeable and disagreeable
notion
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notions
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while
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 providing my own opinions.
Firstly
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,
art
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 is a well-known area
in
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apply
show examples
which requires a broad ability to exceed. When
students
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 are exposed to
this
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 widely amused
subject
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, they have a high possibility to gain
a
Correct article usage
the
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 needed
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 to boost their artistic
competences
Correct your spelling
competencies
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. Other than beautified
hardskills
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skills
,
students
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 might
also
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 strengthen several soft skills by learning
arts
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,
such
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 as the capacity of creativity, interpersonal,
critical
Correct word choice
and critical
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 thinking as they are forced to burst
such
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 randomness in their reveries into technical and physical objects, like paints.
However
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, not many would find
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
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 endearing to
bare
Verb problem
bear
show examples
 with as it needs certain amounts of innovative capabilities.
Students
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 who originally never
engage
Wrong verb form
engaged
show examples
 in
arts
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 might
see
Verb problem
find
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this
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 course difficult to
maintained
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maintain
show examples
. As opposed to those
students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 will seemingly increase their creativities in a proper manner, these learners
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 do not have perks of excitement in
arts
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 would get pressured
instead
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.
As a result
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to
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of
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 occurences, they
also
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 possess the chance to be occupied with stresses.
To conclude
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this
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 essay, a discourse between conducting
art
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 that
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initially
Add a missing verb
is initially
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non-exist
Correct your spelling
non-existent
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 to
primary
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the primary
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subject
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 might always be debatable
at
Change preposition
in
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 certain regards.
However
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, the best way to tackle
this
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 issue, since
art
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 is supposedly a great tool for some occasions, is by making
art
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as
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apply
show examples
an optional
subject
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 as an alternative
of
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to
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 subjects with obligatory
prerequisities
Correct your spelling
prerequisites
prerequisite
 to jump into. With
this
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 in
considerations
Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
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, both
students
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 who savor aesthetic apparatus and those who do not
lie
Verb problem
have
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 a single
interests
Correct the article-noun agreement
interest
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 in
art
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 will get the benefits,
thus
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sever
Wrong verb form
severing
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 the consequence
to obtain
Change preposition
of obtaining
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 bad tension.

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task response
Make sure you fully address the prompt by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Your position should be explicit and maintained throughout your essay.
task response
Work on developing your arguments more fully. While you touched on several points, make sure you elucidate them more thoroughly with specific examples and detailed explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Use cohesive devices such as 'firstly', 'secondly', 'however', 'therefore', and 'in conclusion' to make the progression of your ideas clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling to ensure accuracy and to enhance the professionalism of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multi-skilled
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • creativity
  • concentration
  • discipline
  • collaboration
  • self-esteem
  • cultural understanding
  • obligatory
  • academic performance
  • transferable skills
  • enhancing
  • approach
  • foundation
What to do next:
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