Studying art in school improves students’ performance in other subjects because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That’s why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Having
art
in school as an obligated
subject
might contribute to
students
'
growths
Fix the agreement mistake
growth
show examples
as it
further
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
students
' multiskilled abilities to be enhanced.
While
some might find
art
difficult, others could possibly enjoy
this
idea. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would
please
Verb problem
like
show examples
to examine both agreeable and disagreeable
notion
Fix the agreement mistake
notions
show examples
while
providing my own opinions.
Firstly
,
art
is a well-known area
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which requires a broad ability to exceed. When
students
are exposed to
this
widely amused
subject
, they have a high possibility to gain
a
Correct article usage
the
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needed
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
to boost their artistic
competences
Correct your spelling
competencies
show examples
. Other than beautified
hardskills
Correct your spelling
skills
,
students
might
also
strengthen several soft skills by learning
arts
,
such
as the capacity of creativity, interpersonal,
critical
Correct word choice
and critical
show examples
thinking as they are forced to burst
such
randomness in their reveries into technical and physical objects, like paints.
However
, not many would find
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
endearing to
bare
Verb problem
bear
show examples
with as it needs certain amounts of innovative capabilities.
Students
who originally never
engage
Wrong verb form
engaged
show examples
in
arts
might
see
Verb problem
find
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this
course difficult to
maintained
Change the form of the verb
maintain
show examples
. As opposed to those
students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
will seemingly increase their creativities in a proper manner, these learners
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
do not have perks of excitement in
arts
would get pressured
instead
.
As a result
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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occurences, they
also
possess the chance to be occupied with stresses.
To conclude
this
essay, a discourse between conducting
art
that
initially
Add a missing verb
is initially
show examples
non-exist
Correct your spelling
non-existent
show examples
to
primary
Add an article
the primary
show examples
subject
might always be debatable
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
certain regards.
However
, the best way to tackle
this
issue, since
art
is supposedly a great tool for some occasions, is by making
art
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an optional
subject
as an alternative
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
subjects with obligatory
prerequisities
Correct your spelling
prerequisites
prerequisite
to jump into. With
this
in
considerations
Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
show examples
, both
students
who savor aesthetic apparatus and those who do not
lie
Verb problem
have
show examples
a single
interests
Correct the article-noun agreement
interest
show examples
in
art
will get the benefits,
thus
sever
Wrong verb form
severing
show examples
the consequence
to obtain
Change preposition
of obtaining
show examples
bad tension.
Submitted by chocomoure on

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task response
Make sure you fully address the prompt by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Your position should be explicit and maintained throughout your essay.
task response
Work on developing your arguments more fully. While you touched on several points, make sure you elucidate them more thoroughly with specific examples and detailed explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Use cohesive devices such as 'firstly', 'secondly', 'however', 'therefore', and 'in conclusion' to make the progression of your ideas clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling to ensure accuracy and to enhance the professionalism of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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