The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The given charts illustrate the percentage of adults

time consuming

Add a hyphen

time-consuming

show examples

in six different activities in a particular country from 1958 to 2008.

Overall

, travel to work and sleeping experienced a decreasing trend

while

working and other activities

remaining

Wrong verb form

remained

show examples

increased in the given period. As can be seen from the charts, the percentage of adults who spent their

time

sleeping diminished

Change preposition

show examples

7% followed by going out with friends/family which experienced a decreasing trend as well at 12%.

Conversely

, an uplifting trend occurred in the working category with

Correct article usage

a 9

show examples

% increase from 1958 to 2008, and it

also

ensued in the going out with friends/family and relaxing at home categories; 5% and 13 % respectively. Other interests or playing sports was the least activity which

also

increased at only 2 % in the given period. Generally, most adults spend their

time

working and sleeping

while

only a little of their

time

is allocated to travel to work and other interests.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Jan 26 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both views and give opinion

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in some countries , students live with their family while studying at a university . In other countries , students attend university in another city . Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending outweigh the disadvantages ?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed.

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this, the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience