Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas ( in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do? To extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

These days many
artists
show their products without any restriction from the government or our society. Under
this
circumstance
, some people think that the government do not need to take action to handle
this
problem.
However
, I firmly disagree with
this
idea because
this
issue has a negative influence on our society and
also
it makes decrease worthy of
arts
. First of all, if
artists
do not have restrictions, it could have negative effects on our community. To express their own creativity, sometimes they show
arts
which are away from the standard norm. Under
this
circumstance
, children are influenced by the
artists
or
arts
and their parents should complain to the creators. After that, many people think that the
artists
have a bad effect on our society and they start to block
artists
. For these reasons, the artist who has their own rules will be affected by
this
circumstance
.
For example
, in Korea, children are influenced by singers and actors , especially
hip hop
Add a hyphen
hip-hop
show examples
artists
are
affect
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers. Students who desire to be
hip hop
Add a hyphen
hip-hop
show examples
artists
mimic
artists
’ behaviour and lyrics which are a kind of slang.
For
this
reason, many parents block their kids from watching
hip hop
Add a hyphen
hip-hop
show examples
artists
. Another reason is that it can cause a decrease in the worth of
art
. If they show their idea freely, it would drop their value of expertise. It means that expressing their creativity without any rules can lower the entry barrier in
this
field.
For
this
reason, people will have a lower admiration of
art
and
also
arts
begin to shrink.
For example
, in Korea, many young generation desire to be
artists
and they want to be
artists
or creators. Under
this
circumstance
, they create a lot of
art
pieces and display them on their Instagram. It means that many young generations no longer think that
art
is not a serious and expertise field.
As a result
,
this
atmosphere reduced the scarcity of Korean
art
. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with
this
opinion because it can have a bad effect on our community, and
also
when they express their creativity without any barriers, it can drop worthy of creativities.
Submitted by jiyoonahn99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear logical structure throughout your essay, ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and the progression of ideas is smooth.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion by restating the question and summarizing the main points of your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Offer clearer and more developed ideas in your body paragraphs, each contained to their respective arguments.
task achievement
Include more varied and specific examples to support your main points, to make your arguments more compelling.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Freedom of expression
  • Censorship
  • Artistic integrity
  • Cultural identity
  • Social responsibility
  • Public order
  • Discrimination
  • Hate speech
  • Self-regulation
  • Government intervention
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Creativity
  • Democracy
  • Fundamental right
  • Moral obligation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: