Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas ( in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do? To extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
These days many
artists
show their products without any restriction from the government or our society. Under this
circumstance
, some people think that the government do not need to take action to handle this
problem. However
, I firmly disagree with this
idea because this
issue has a negative influence on our society and also
it makes decrease worthy of arts
.
First of all, if artists
do not have restrictions, it could have negative effects on our community. To express their own creativity, sometimes they show arts
which are away from the standard norm. Under this
circumstance
, children are influenced by the artists
or arts
and their parents should complain to the creators. After that, many people think that the artists
have a bad effect on our society and they start to block artists
. For these reasons, the artist who has their own rules will be affected by this
circumstance
. For example
, in Korea, children are influenced by singers and actors , especially hip hop
Add a hyphen
hip-hop
artists
are affect
Wrong verb form
affects
on
teenagers. Students who desire to beChange preposition
apply
hip hop
Add a hyphen
hip-hop
artists
mimic artists
’ behaviour and lyrics which are a kind of slang. For
this
reason, many parents block their kids from watching hip hop
Add a hyphen
hip-hop
artists
.
Another reason is that it can cause a decrease in the worth of art
. If they show their idea freely, it would drop their value of expertise. It means that expressing their creativity without any rules can lower the entry barrier in this
field. For
this
reason, people will have a lower admiration of art
and also
arts
begin to shrink. For example
, in Korea, many young generation desire to be artists
and they want to be artists
or creators. Under this
circumstance
, they create a lot of art
pieces and display them on their Instagram. It means that many young generations no longer think that art
is not a serious and expertise field. As a result
, this
atmosphere reduced the scarcity of Korean art
.
In conclusion, I strongly disagree with this
opinion because it can have a bad effect on our community, and also
when they express their creativity without any barriers, it can drop worthy of creativities.Submitted by jiyoonahn99 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear logical structure throughout your essay, ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and the progression of ideas is smooth.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion by restating the question and summarizing the main points of your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Offer clearer and more developed ideas in your body paragraphs, each contained to their respective arguments.
task achievement
Include more varied and specific examples to support your main points, to make your arguments more compelling.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite