In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The practice of awarding
children
financially for their labor
work is popular in many areas of Change the spelling
labour
world
. Add an article
the world
While
some individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
opposed
Wrong verb form
oppose
this
practice, others consider it as a worthy exposure, which can be vital in terms of getting education
and involves in maintaining Add an article
an education
the education
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
life
. However
, I believe that one should encourage juveniles toward these lifelong experiences as they prepare them mentally for the upcoming challenges in future. In forthcoming paragraphs, I am
Verb problem
will
discussing
both points of view in Wrong verb form
discuss
details
, Fix the agreement mistake
detail
while
, elaborating my opinion in
Change preposition
on
this
matter.
On one hand, better
economic condition of a country and fostering skills development among Add an article
the better
children
are the key benefits of these exercises according to
many people
Change noun form
people's
perspective
. They assume it to be not harmful Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
for
the mental health of child nor in their Change the preposition
to
opinion
it Add a comma
opinion,
effects
their physical Replace the word
affects
wellbeing
. To wit, working at an early Correct your spelling
well-being
age
provide
them opportunity to master some field in Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
earlier
era of their Add an article
an earlier
the earlier
life
, also
, it raises the awareness of fulfilling their duties in timely
and productive manner. Add an article
a timely
For instance
, teenagers in many developing countries are being encouraged by their elders to start working in
Change preposition
at
young
Add an article
a young
age
so that they can take part in overall
growth of their economy.
Add an article
the overall
On the contrary
, beginning the job at
Change preposition
in
early
years can limit Correct article usage
the early
the
future opportunities, as it Correct article usage
apply
effects
their learning abilities. Expressly, it may Replace the word
affects
cease
the opportunity Correct the spelling
seize
from
kids to visit schools daily. Change preposition
for
As it
is Correct word choice
It
common
viewpoint that one Add an article
a common
need
to spend full working hours in order to earn money. So, many kids lose the urge to gain more knowledge, whenever they start earning money Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
in
Change preposition
at
young
Correct article usage
a young
age
. Furthermore
, due to
the fact mentioned above chances to grow professionally in later stages of life
decreases as well. For instance
, in many areas of third world countries children
are forced to earn financially, so they can support their families, whereas
no facilities are given to them to tackle these situations.
In my perspective, juvenile
especially teenagers should be highly encouraged to start working at the earlier stages of their Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
life
, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
while
also
providing them with such
opportunities through which, they can grow in their educational institutions. These endeavors
will build their characters strongly, Change the spelling
endeavours
whereas
Correct word choice
and
polish
them in becoming Change the verb form
polishing
expert
in certain areas of Fix the agreement mistake
experts
field
. By developing their personalities, they will be able to lead their states with greater enthusiasm.
Add an article
the field
To conclude
, children
in many parts of the world are engaged in work that are being paid financially. Some thinks
that these practices should immediately be stopped as it Correct subject-verb agreement
think
effects
their education badly, Replace the word
affects
while
many people have strong
belief that it helps them not only in skill development but Add an article
a strong
also
in gaining knowledge for future
. Correct article usage
the future
However
, in my opinion
people should encourage them to start working Add a comma
opinion,
in
Change preposition
at
young
Correct article usage
a young
age
, while
resuming their daily learning practices.Submitted by araibbutt93 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure of your essay by presenting ideas systematically and using appropriate transition words.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion, ensuring they encapsulate the main points and your opinion succinctly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with relevant and specific examples, and elaborate on them to enhance the argument.
Task Achievement
Provide a complete response to the prompt by thoroughly discussing both views and your own opinion, ensuring to cover all aspects of the question.
Task Achievement
Express your ideas clearly and thoroughly, providing comprehensive reasoning and perspectives on the topic.
Task Achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to back up your arguments and deepen the analysis of your points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
