Violent TV-shows and aggressive video games should be banned on governmental level. Do you agree or disagree?

#tv-shows #video #games #level

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More and more violent

video

Use synonyms

games and

TV-shows

Correct your spelling

TV shows

show examples

have

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

popular for

general

Correct article usage

the general

show examples

public nowadays. Some

people

Use synonyms

think that it is too aggressive and would be banned by authorities, but I

desagree

Correct your spelling

disagree

with

this

Linking Words

point of view.

This

Linking Words

essay will

discusse

Correct your spelling

discuss

about

this

Linking Words

subject to get reasons for

this

Linking Words

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is important to highlight that violent

content

Use synonyms

can really be bad for

people

Use synonyms

's behaviour,

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

kids.

For instance

Linking Words

, every kid

wanted

Wrong verb form

wants

show examples

to be someone they see

Change preposition

show examples

television, at least one time in

life

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, it is a fact that

this

Linking Words

kind of

content

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can generate

damages

Fix the agreement mistake

damage

show examples

to children's behaviour

due to

Linking Words

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

trying to copy what they see.

However

Linking Words

, it does not mean that it should be banned at all, in spite of

this

Linking Words

, it can be

distimulated

Correct your spelling

stimulated

dissimulated

or regulated.

For example

Linking Words

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should create

polices

Correct your spelling

policies

show examples

that regulate the levels of violence in

chidren's

Correct your spelling

children's

video

Use synonyms

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

and TV

content

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Moreover

Linking Words

, banning all the

agreesive

Correct your spelling

aggressive

content

Use synonyms

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

for adults, could be considered

Remove the article

apply

show examples

censorship,

in other words

Linking Words

, an

atack

Correct your spelling

attack

Change preposition

show examples

the freedom of expression.

Secondly

Linking Words

this kind

Fix the agreement mistake

these kinds

show examples

of games and shows may have a positive effect

Change preposition

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who

consume

Correct pronoun usage

consume them

show examples

. It can be good for adult

people

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discharge

Fix the infinitive

to discharge

show examples

their violence and bad emotions in

digital

Add an article

the digital

a digital

show examples

environment in spite of doing it in real

life

Use synonyms

. To illustrate, an angry person can play a fighting

video

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game to replace fighting in real

life

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

, it should reduce the levels of violence in real

life

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, we can say that violent

TV-shows

Correct your spelling

TV shows

show examples

and aggressive

video

Use synonyms

games should not be banned at all, but regulated,

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

for kids.

Moreover

Linking Words

, using the right way,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can have some positive effects on society.

Submitted by danielejaegger on Fri Jan 26 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, to guide the reader smoothly through your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Avoid repetition of ideas and use a range of linking words and transition phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, and the conclusion summarizes your arguments without adding new information.

Task Achievement

Develop your main points more thoroughly by using real-world examples or citing studies to support your arguments.

Task Achievement

Make sure you address all parts of the task and provide a balanced view if the prompt requires it to maximize your score in task achievement.

Language

Mind your grammar and punctuation to improve readability and the overall professionalism of your essay.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Desensitization
Aggression
Censorship
Creative freedom
Parental controls
Legislation
Prohibition
Media literacy
Age-appropriate
Underground consumption
Societal impact
Cultural relativism

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Violent TV-shows and aggressive video games should be banned on governmental level. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many animal species are becoming extinct as a result off human activities . What are the causes and possible solutions to this problem?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attension to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.