Some people believe that the aim of university education is to help graduates to get better jobs. Other believe that there are much wider benefits of univertsity education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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A faction of people holds the notion that
ultimate
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the ultimate
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goal
for
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of
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university
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a university
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education
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to
Add a missing verb
is to
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get a lucrative
job
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,
others
Correct word choice
while others
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arugue
Correct your spelling
argue
that higher
education
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have
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has
show examples
ample other benefits.
In
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This
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this
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essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the latter view with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, the people who advocate that
university
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education
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aim
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for better
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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claim that lucrative work is important for maintaining
family
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a family
the family
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.
In other words
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,
the
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in the
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contemporary
world
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, well-paid jobs are important for a decent lifestyle,
therefore
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,
the
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a
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university
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education
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would focus on
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job related
Add a hyphen
job-related
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curriculums.
For example
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, a recent report indicated that
the
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apply
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students
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
for
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apply
show examples
occupational
skill oriented
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skill-oriented
show examples
courses in
the
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apply
show examples
universities
are
Verb problem
have
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more chances of placement after
the
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their
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education
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in
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apply
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compared to general courses.
Moreover
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, a good workplace not only
boost
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boosts
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the
carrier
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career
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of the employee but
also
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
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to learn more about the the sector.
Although
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better
Add an article
the better
a better
show examples
job
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is essential for personal and professional development, the
aim
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of
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
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education
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should be better
ment
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meant
for
human kind
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humankind
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.
Nevertheless
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, higher
education
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should
aim
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to
imporve
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improve
the
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apply
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overall
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personal development.
In other words
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,
education
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has a
pottential
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potential
to change the
world
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. Educated
businessmans
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businessmen
businessman
and politicians would show
the
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a
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high level of ethics and
committment
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commitment
to
the
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apply
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society
can
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that can
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change the
world
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in a positive way.
For example
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, it is true that educated leaders are more
pro active
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pro-active
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than uneducated leaders.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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young prime ministers and presidents
arond
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around
the
world
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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better
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a better
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prespective
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perspective
for
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on
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financial independancy.
Moreover
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,
the
Remove the article
apply
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some universities
such
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as Harvard are focusing
to create
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on creating
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employeers
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employers
employees
than
Rephrase
rather than
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employees. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
university
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a university
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education
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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to find
better
Add an article
a better
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career which is important for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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living, the
aim
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of
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
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should be
generate
Fix the infinitive
to generate
show examples
potential leaders not only in politics but in business as well. In my view, higher
education
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aim
Use synonyms
should not be
litmited
Correct your spelling
limited
to find
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
career,
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. Try to introduce both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. Additionally, make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and unequivocally states your position.
Logical Structure
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Organize your paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
Specific Examples
While you addressed both viewpoints, your argument would be stronger with the use of more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Avoid generic statements by providing concrete evidence from reliable sources to demonstrate the validity of your claims.
Task Response
Make sure to address the task fully. Expand on your ideas to create a more comprehensive argument that covers all aspects of the prompt. This includes a balanced discussion of both views and a reasoned conclusion, which seems to be missing in your essay.
Language Use
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