Some people believe that the aim of university education is to help graduates to get better jobs. Other believe that there are much wider benefits of univertsity education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion
A faction of people holds the notion that
ultimate
goal Correct article usage
the ultimate
for
Change preposition
of
university
Correct article usage
a university
education
to
get a lucrative Add a missing verb
is to
job
, others
Correct word choice
while others
arugue
that higher Correct your spelling
argue
education
have
ample other benefits. Change the verb form
has
In
Change preposition
This
this
essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the latter view with relevant illustrations.
First and foremost, the people who advocate that university
education
aim
for better job
claim that lucrative work is important for maintaining Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
family
. Add an article
a family
the family
In other words
, the
contemporary Change preposition
in the
world
, well-paid jobs are important for a decent lifestyle, therefore
, the
Correct article usage
a
university
education
would focus on job related
curriculums. Add a hyphen
job-related
For example
, a recent report indicated that the
students Correct article usage
apply
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
for
occupational Change preposition
apply
skill oriented
courses in Add a hyphen
skill-oriented
the
universities Correct article usage
apply
are
more chances of placement after Verb problem
have
the
Change the word
their
education
in
compared to general courses. Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, a good workplace not only boost
the Change the verb form
boosts
carrier
of the employee but Correct your spelling
career
also
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
opportunity
to learn more about the the sector. Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
Although
better
Add an article
the better
a better
job
is essential for personal and professional development, the aim
of university
Correct article usage
a university
education
should be better ment
for Correct your spelling
meant
human kind
.
Correct your spelling
humankind
Nevertheless
, higher education
should aim
to imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
overall
personal development. In other words
, education
has a pottential
to change the Correct your spelling
potential
world
. Educated businessmans
and politicians would show Correct your spelling
businessmen
businessman
the
high level of ethics and Correct article usage
a
committment
to Correct your spelling
commitment
the
society Correct article usage
apply
can
change the Correct pronoun usage
that can
world
in a positive way. For example
, it is true that educated leaders are more pro active
than uneducated leaders. Add a hyphen
pro-active
For example
, the
young prime ministers and presidents Correct article usage
apply
arond
the Correct your spelling
around
world
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
better
Correct article usage
a better
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
for
financial independancy. Change preposition
on
Moreover
, the
some universities Remove the article
apply
such
as Harvard are focusing to create
Change preposition
on creating
employeers
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
than
employees.
In conclusion, Rephrase
rather than
Although
university
Correct article usage
a university
education
help
to find Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
better
career which is important for Add an article
a better
better
living, the Correct article usage
a better
aim
of university
Correct article usage
a university
education
should be generate
potential leaders not only in politics but in business as well. In my view, higher Fix the infinitive
to generate
education
aim
should not be litmited
to find Correct your spelling
limited
better
career,Add an article
a better
Submitted by ck.manshad on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. Try to introduce both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. Additionally, make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and unequivocally states your position.
Logical Structure
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Organize your paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
Specific Examples
While you addressed both viewpoints, your argument would be stronger with the use of more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Avoid generic statements by providing concrete evidence from reliable sources to demonstrate the validity of your claims.
Task Response
Make sure to address the task fully. Expand on your ideas to create a more comprehensive argument that covers all aspects of the prompt. This includes a balanced discussion of both views and a reasoned conclusion, which seems to be missing in your essay.
Language Use