Essay topics: Providing a national system in a country where the unemployed receive a regular payment only encourages people not to seek work and puts an unreasonable strain on a countries financial resources. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

It is believed by some
people
that the mechanism of a country where the unemployed get a regular payment only encourages them to not seek work and
form
Correct subject-verb agreement
forms
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a burden on the nation's financial stability. The reason why is
due to
the government wants to provide the civilians who are unsuccessful to get their own wages. From my point of view, it is best for the
policy maker
Correct your spelling
policymaker
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to not provide regular
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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for the unemployed. I will explain
further
concerning my perspective in
this
essay. The monthly wages for the unemployed may push
people
to not search for work, and even to stop working. The
people
may perceive the unfairness between the employed and unemployed, where the
people
who are working strive and put effort
on
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into
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their line,
while
the ones who are not working get money by doing nothing.
Nonetheless
, the policy makes
people
prefer to stay at home rather than searching
or
Change preposition
for or
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doing jobs.
Furthermore
,
due to
the
decrease
Replace the word
decreased
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amount of the employed and the increase of civilians to provide, the monetary burden expands. The struggles of finance will only lead the nation into a downfall,
such
as the unfinished projects, minimum education spending, and the infrastructure that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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no longer in care.
Moreover
, if the economy of a country
elapsed
Wrong verb form
elapses
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, it will affect the society as a whole, making the nation stuck in a crisis.
To conclude
, I
am not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
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if
Correct word choice
that
show examples
nations must share regular
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
for the unemployed
,
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apply
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because it will lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase amount of the unemployed
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and the peak of financial strain.
However
, the government can support its
people
by providing them
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
other things,
such
as free health care support and education support.
Submitted by asmaningrum2125 on

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task achievement
Include a clearer introduction directly addressing the statement and the essay question, ensuring there's a distinct thesis statement.
task achievement
Provide more precise and detailed examples to support your arguments, making sure they are relevant to the question at hand.
coherence cohesion
Work on crafting more complex sentence structures to enhance the level of English expression throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases effectively to better connect ideas and paragraphs, improving the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has one clear main idea and that each idea is thoroughly developed before moving to the next point.
task achievement
Address both views of the statement in your discussion, providing balance and demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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