international tourism has bought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is cconcern about its impact on local inhabitants and environment. Do disadvantage outweigh the advantages?

It is believed that a large proportion of the globe
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
on
tourism
to generate income, whilst others believe that
tourism
also
brings
disadvantages
for the countries.
This
essay will explore various
advantages
and
disadvantages
of
tourism
and demonstrate why the former hold greater significance compared to the latter.
To begin
with, one prominent advantage of
tourism
is strengthening the economy of a
country
because it generates income.
This
is because when tourists visit a particular
country
, they invest a huge amount of money in transport, accommodation and hotels which
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
the revenue of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
For example
, Spain’s economy mainly
rely
Change the verb form
relies
show examples
on
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
industry.
Moreover
, when people visit a
country
they get a chance to
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
about different cultures and traditions and learn other languages.
Therefore
,
tourism
brings multiple
advantages
for both tourists and
tourism
countries. Despite its
advantages
,
tourism
also
presents several
disadvantages
. One notable drawback is the
loss
of natural habitats.
This
is
due to
the fact that more places are used for the
tourism
industry,which puts many
species
Change noun form
species'
specy's
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habitats
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
danger .
For example
,
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
of a particular species plays a significant role in maintaining the balance of the ecosystem.
Although
tourism
has its drawbacks, the
advantages
it brings are more significant because of the monetary gains made
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
.
This
gain can
also
be used to outperform the
loss
brought by
tourism
. In conclusion,
while
the
tourism
industry has its
disadvantages
such
as
loss
of natural habitat, the
advantages
it offers are undeniable.
Therefore
it is evident that the
advantages
of
tourism
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
the
disadvantages
reinforcing its importance in our society.
Submitted by kashif.gujjar0700 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that examples provided are concrete and specific to substantiate your points. The essay would benefit from a more detailed case study or statistical data to illustrate the impact of tourism.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing clearer topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader through the argument. Try to ensure that each main point is expanded with adequate support and explanation.
Coherence & Cohesion
Integrate complex sentences and a variety of linking words to enhance the flow of your essay. This holds true for both the connection between ideas within paragraphs, and the transition between them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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