some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs. discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion.
It is obvious that there are several working cultures these days.
Although
some people believe that work is the first priority in their life, I believe that to some extent we should be concern
about our hobbies and interests Wrong verb form
concerned
besides
jobs.
The majority of people who are in
their productive age often spend most of their time Change preposition
at
for
their Change preposition
on
career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
This
is because work is their self-satisfaction, they really
passionate about their fields and have Add a missing verb
are really
high
desire to achieve their dreams. Add an article
a high
For example
, they sacrifice years to enhance their capabilities until get promotion
Replace the word
promoted
as
a senior manager. Change preposition
to
Moreover
, some of them have obligation
to Correct article usage
an obligation
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
in
their families. To illustrate Change preposition
of
this
, a
first Correct article usage
apply
born
children Verb problem
apply
has
high pressure to fund their Change the verb form
have
families
needs Fix the agreement mistake
family
such
as tuition fees of their siblings, and living costs. As a result
, they have no choice and focus on gaining money instead
.
On the other hand
, several employees argue that doing hobbies is a paramount thing rather than work. One justification given is that working is only for live
and it Replace the word
life
do
not give them happiness and Change the verb form
does
fulfillment
. Change the spelling
fulfilment
Thus
, they will use their mean time
to Correct your spelling
meantime
undergo
their interests Verb problem
pursue
likewise
bicycling, reading, and hiking. In addition
, they try to balance this
hustle culture trend by maintaining their well-being. For instance
, when workers feel underpressure
at their companies, as simple as watching Correct your spelling
under pressure
series
is a pleasure for them.
In conclusion, despite only prioritizing our career, we cannot deny that we should have an awareness to provide our bodyCorrect article usage
a series
a
good rest and entertainment in order to achieve a better quality of life for societies.Add the preposition
with a
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introduction conclusion present
Try to present a clear thesis statement in the introduction indicating your position on the topic which will guide the reader through your discussion.
logical structure
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
complete response
Ensure that you directly address all parts of the task prompt, including a discussion of both views and your own opinion, to achieve a more complete response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity in presenting your ideas by using varied sentence structures and avoiding overly complex or convoluted expressions.
relevant specific examples
Provide concrete and relevant examples that directly relate to your points to enhance the specificity and illustrate the ideas you are discussing.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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