Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. So, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

High carbohydrate consumption can deteriorate an individual’s well-being. Nowadays, many processed
items
contain a greater quantity of sugar which is responsible for causing health-related problems.
however
, the government should apply taxes on these companies and their products, so that individuals can consume healthy or less sugary foods. In
this
essay, I will explain why I agree with the notion, and discuss how the government can raise the prices of sugary
items
to encourage individuals to adopt a healthier lifestyle. Currently, many organizations are manufacturing processed
items
which contain a high amount of
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
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.
Although
sugar helps in
food
preservation, it can
also
deteriorate human health.
For instance
, diabetes and obesity, are the most common problems which increase both mortality and morbidity rates in Pakistan.
According to
a 2023 survey in Pakistan, approximately 70% of deaths are occurred
due to
these complications.
Furthermore
, the issues are arising over time, because people are consuming artificial sweet in a large amount. Almost all ready-made
snack
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snacks
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contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
artificial sweets, and
public
Add an article
the public
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just
buy
Correct subject-verb agreement
buys
show examples
them without knowing the consequences.
However
, the consumption of sugary foods and drinks is common because of their affordability and accessibility in every shop. Dunkin Donuts,
for instance
, sell a
donut
Change the spelling
doughnut
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for 2
dollars
while
a Kiwi
has cost
Wrong verb form
costs
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around 12
dollars
per kg.
similarly
, soda drink costs around 1.5
dollars
whereas
the cost of mineral water is 5
dollars
.
Due to
this
huge difference, people prefer to buy cheap
food
rather than healthy. In order to avoid
this
unhealthy trend, the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
need to impose heavy taxation on these products and must arrange awareness programs for the public, to make them realize how these sugary foods and drinks cause well-being
dilemma
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dilemmas
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. In conclusion, many companies are using high levels of sugar in their
items
which helps in the preservation of
food
, but these can
also
lead to many health-related issues. The government need to come forward and impose high taxes on sweet products so that people buy healthy
food
.
Submitted by sadiahussain028 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows a logical progression. The use of linking words to connect ideas can be improved for better cohesion.
task achievement
In the introduction, present your clear opinion in response to the question. Throughout the essay, consistently maintain this position and make sure your conclusion reinforces it without introducing new points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to bolster your arguments. Use case studies, statistics, or reports that directly relate to the topic instead of hypothetical scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation to ensure clarity and precision in your writing. Avoid run-on sentences and make sure each sentence properly conveys its intended meaning.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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