IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories
The bar chart illustrates the total amount of
time
 spent in
minutes
 (
billions
 ) by three various types of
telephone
 calls in the United Kingdom over the
years
 from 1995 to 2002.
Overall
, the graph clearly states that
time
 spent on
telephone
 calls by national and international and mobile
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 had increased over the
period
 of
years
.
Whereas
, local
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 had
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 constant over the
period
 of
years
 with Little fluctuations. On the one hand, the total amount of
time
 spent on national and international
telephone
 calls
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased gradually from 1995 to 2002 with above 30 to above 60
minutes
 in
billions
.
Likewise
, mobile calls
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
peaked over the
period
 of
years
 with below 10 to above 40
minutes
 in
billions
 from 1995 to 2002.
On the other hand
, number of
time
 spent on local calls became constant over the
period
 of
years
 with
range
Add an article
a range
show examples
 of above 70
minutes
 in
billions
 with small fluctuations
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between the
years
 1995 to 2002. At the same
time
, in 1997 and 2002 both national and international
telephone
 calls and mobile calls shared
equal
Add an article
an equal
show examples
 amount of
time
 about above 40
minutes
 in
billions
 each respectively.
Moreover
, in 1999 local
calls
Fix the agreement mistake
call
show examples
time
 duration reached its peak duration
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 90
minutes
 in
billions
 whilst in 1995,
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 consumed by mobile calls shared its lowest duration about below 5
minutes
 in
billions
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, minutes, billions, telephone, years, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
What to do next:
Look at other essays: