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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#books #men #women #burnaby #library #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates how many
men
Use synonyms
 and women experienced
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
books
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 2011 and 2014 at Burnaby Public Library.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
books
Use synonyms
 read by women gradually
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 and and
men
Use synonyms
 always significantly increased in certain
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 and reached
peak
Add an article
a peak
the peak
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. From the start, in 2011 the
book
Fix the agreement mistake
number of books
show examples
 read by
men
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 number
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
all
Change preposition
to all
show examples
 the data which is around 2000
books
Use synonyms
. In the following years, in 2012
had
Verb problem
there was
show examples
rapid
Correct article usage
a rapid
show examples
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 became 4000. Only within a year from 2012 to 2023 go up sharply
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
 6000
book
Change to a plural noun
books
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 read by
men
Use synonyms
.
An
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 end year
also
Linking Words
 rose steadily to 12000 In 2011,
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
above
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 which is 5000
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by 2 years climb to 10000 in 2013. After 2013, it was bottom out to about 7000 in 2014. In 2013 either
men
Use synonyms
 or women had the same number of
books
Use synonyms
 that they read which
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 10000
Submitted by adhansdaily on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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