With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such area?

Nowadays, the proportion of
oil
and
gas'
Change noun form
gas
show examples
needs
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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to
rice
Add a missing verb
be rice
show examples
.
This
situation has forced people to find those two specific resources in unusual places in
distant
Replace the word
distances
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. In my opinion, I would say that the idea can bring negatives like deforestation and environmental damage as compared to any benefit it might bring. Admittedly, there are several advantages of people finding
oil
and
gas
in
a remote areas
Correct the article-noun agreement
remote areas
a remote area
show examples
.
Firstly
,
this
initiative could be considered as finding a solution to cope with the energy scarcity, especially in
gas
and
oil
.
In other words
, the demand
in
Change preposition
for
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natural resources
such
as
oil
and
gas
could be fulfilled because people can ensure the new spot that
generate
Change the verb form
generates
show examples
the aforementioned resources.
Submitted by thesisabri on

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introduction conclusion
Your essay introduction should clearly present your opinion and outline the main points you will discuss. Make sure you also include a conclusion summarizing your arguments and reiterating your viewpoint.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you're addressing the question directly and providing a detailed discussion on both sides (advantages and disadvantages), followed by a clear opinion. Remember to include specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Develop your paragraphs with more logical connections between them. Use a range of cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to help your essay flow better. Focus on making your main points supported with explanations and elaboration.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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