As the workplace evolves, some people suggest that schools should only teach practical skills, while others believe that academic knowledge should be taught as well. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Several people say that
school
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schools
show examples
ought to teach practical
skills
only, but others believe that teaching
about
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apply
show examples
knowledge is important too. In
this
essay, I will elaborate
both
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on both
show examples
sides of the argument.
While
I support
to combine
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combining
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both
of those. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
show examples
hand, a minority of people
believes
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believe
show examples
that practical
skills
are more needed in the future. Those
skills
are prepared to obtain the job because many companies entail workers who possess good
skills
.
For example
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
company
of
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apply
show examples
Honda. That company require people from
vacational
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vocational
school because
employer
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employers
show examples
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are
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is not require
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is not required
show examples
to
aford
Correct your spelling
conduct
more practicing because they have
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
many
skills
.
On the other hand
, communities say that knowledge is required for students
own
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to own
show examples
a
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apply
show examples
critical thinking.
This
matter is imperative because they are able to convey their new idea, and for the students
are
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is
show examples
not easy to believe another person. In my opinion,
this
condition should
combine
Wrong verb form
be combined
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. The pupils in the school ought to be able to acquire
both
of those with
ballance
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balance
so that
this
situation is for adapting to prepare fast-changing world.
To sum up
, after weighing up
both
sides of the argument, I think that combining
both
of these is needed to prepare
in
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for
show examples
the next life.
Submitted by fifi on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer structure. It should consist of an introduction, at least two body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the ideas should be expanded on and explained clearly.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking devices to connect ideas within and across paragraphs, not just simple connectors like 'on the other hand'. Consider using referencing words like 'this' or 'such' more effectively to refer back to previous points.
task achievement
Make sure you fully address the prompt by elaborating on both views equally and providing detailed examples to support your arguments. You should use more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points.
task achievement
Improve the balance in your essay by equally discussing both sides of the view before giving your opinion. Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points of your essay and clearly states your position, reflecting your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammar and accuracy. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that hinder the clarity of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Check your work for spelling and punctuation errors, as these mistakes can affect the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Vocational training
  • Job market
  • Real-world application
  • Skills gap
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Technological advancements
  • Critical thinking
  • Theoretical foundations
  • Lifelong learning
  • Cultural awareness
  • Analytical skills
  • Research careers
  • Balanced approach
  • Adaptability
  • Continuous learning
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